Tiny hands and tiny feet, there is someone new for you to meet!!! Another baby girl is on the way due March 19, 2019. I’m so excited to be writing this blog since I had waited so long for this day!
The Struggle of Getting Pregnant With Baby #2
Since getting pregnant with my first daughter (Valentina) was a piece of cake, I never thought getting pregnant would actually be soooo difficult! Furthermore, since my first pregnancy happened so quickly, we decided to wait until Valentina would be two years old before trying for the second baby. We started the process of actively trying in early 2017. I found out I was pregnant on July 4th, 2017 (about 6 months after trying which wasn’t horrible, but since I got pregnant very fast with Valentina, six months of trying seemed too long to me). I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant and couldn’t wait to go see my doctor for the first ultrasound!
When it was time for my first ultrasound, unfortunately, my doctor didn’t have very good news for us! She told me that our baby’s heart had stopped beating at 7 weeks and that pregnancy ended in miscarriage! I was devastated and cried so many tears. It is an experience that will never forget!!! I was so emotional at my doctor’s office and couldn’t control my tears! Not only is my doctor very intelligent and very experienced, but also she is truly one of the sweetest and most caring doctors that any pregnant woman could ever ask for (Dr. Lisa Jaacks). She was just as sad when she saw my ultrasound results! She gave me so much love and support that I needed at that moment, that I’ll never forget! She told me that she has had several patients with miscarriages and they ultimately ended up having beautiful, healthy babies. She said this is your first miscarriage and please don’t give up! I told her that I would never want to go through the emotional pain of miscarriage ever again and didn’t want to try anymore!
After getting through the initial emotional pain, I thought to myself, one of the biggest reasons I wanted to be pregnant is I really wanted Valentina to have a little sister or brother to grow up with! I have always cherished the relationship that I have with my older sister (Kereshmeh), and I always wanted to pass that gift to my own daughter! So, I decided not to “give up” trying and started by keeping a positive mindset and hoping for the best!
I have to say that keeping a positive mindset after many many months of “trying” and coping with one negative pregnancy test after another I began to doubt that my dream of having a sibling for Valentina may never happen. I used all of the methods and suggestions that “Dr. Google” (hahaha) and many blog suggestions and advice of women who had been down the same path. I practically had a lab set up in our house tracking my ovulation, body temperature and followed all of the calendar apps with perfect accuracy. Despite all of my efforts, I was knocked down once again with a negative pregnancy test. It was so frustrating! I have to say that I really started questioning whether our idea of waiting a couple of years was a big mistake as we were two years older ourselves. Questions like “are my eggs any good anymore” and “did we wait too long” started to creep into my mind. Finally, after one year of trying, July 4th, 2018 I found out that I was pregnant again! The EXACT same date that I found out I was pregnant in 2017!!!! When I found out I was pregnant, like a crazy person, I started having so many negative thoughts and fear of another miscarriage! I didn’t know if I should be happy and celebrating or I should be panicked! I was too scared to even talk about it to anyone! I decided to keep it as a surprise until I passed the “scary miscarriage zone”! Today I’m 22 weeks pregnant. To be honest, I’m still very paranoid and scared of pregnant women! Hoping my baby will stay safe for the full term!
How I Got Pregnant This Time
Since we tried for almost one year (after my miscarriage) to become pregnant and we had no luck, my OBGYN doctor recommended that I seek the advice of an infertility specialist. After meeting this specialist I felt reassured that there was still a possibility for me to get pregnant. Many tests and blood work were suggested to get a better idea of what was preventing me from getting pregnant. He recommended that I do an “HSG Ultrasound”. An HSG is a special type of ultrasound examination of the Fallopian tubes and uterus. This ultrasound will show you if there is any blockage in your tubes that can prevent the egg from making it to where the egg can be fertilized. I was told this ultrasound is not an “infertility treatment” but most doctors will tell you that it can definitely “help” you to get pregnant on that cycle or on your next cycle. The liquid that they inject into your uterus opens up your tubes so the eggs can travel down the tube easier.
My doctor also suggested that I take “Clomid” pills for 3 months. Clomid helps you to ovulate more each cycle. The only thing about Clomid is, it can possibly cause multiple births (twins, triplets or more). That part was very scary for both of us! Matt and I knew that we couldn’t handle any more than one baby! Hahaha! So we definitely had some fears about trying Clomid. Since we had made the decision not to go through IVF, this would be our very last option to try to get pregnant. Therefore, we decided that I’ll take Clomid.
Well… my doctor didn’t allow me to take Clomid on the same cycle that I did the HSG ultrasound…. she said you need to wait taking Clomid until my next cycle. And that’s what I did! I didn’t become pregnant with the HSG ultrasound in that cycle, but the following cycle I got pregnant with the help of Clomid and HSG from the previous cycle! Clomid truly did the magic for me! I didn’t even need to take it 3 months! I got pregnant with the first month of taking Clomid. I honestly think I got pregnant because the HSG definitely helped opening up my tubes and Clomid helped increasing the ovulation! The combination of both worked great for me.
About 10 percent of women (6.1 million) in the United States ages 15-44 have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). “Infertility” is a subject that a lot of women are afraid talking about it these days! I’m not sure why….?! I don’t think there is anything “shameful” or “bad” with difficulty getting pregnant! In fact, in this modern world that we live in, there are so many great options out there to become a parent (IVF, IUI, ART, surrogacy, adoption, ect.). I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with any of these options! It’s a “personal decision” and a “personal choice”! There are so many people that “choose” NOT to be a parent! They don’t even try to become pregnant! To me, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that choice either! Life is all about making the best decision for your life. And it’s nobody’s business!!!!
For us, we made a decision of not going through IVF, IUI, or surrogacy…. however, I always LOVED the idea of adoption! In fact, one of my biggest dream has always been to adopt a little baby. To me, there is nothing better to do in life than changing someone else’s life in such a positive way, which called “Adoption”!
I still don’t want to celebrate too early as I’m only half way through my pregnancy, but I thought I should share my experience with those of you who “are or have” struggled to get pregnant like me (either with your first, second or third pregnancy) and hopefully my experience will motivate and encourage you NOT to give up! Stay strong and try not to let the negative thoughts creep into your brain.
If you have any tips or suggestions of what helped you to get pregnant, please leave a comment below so everyone else can benefit from your experience!