16 Shocking Facts About Emotional Abuse in Relationships According to Experts
Emotional abuse in a relationship can be very harmful and leave lasting effects on your mental health. When you’re with someone who controls, puts you down, or tries to manipulate you, it can be hard to notice the signs, especially when love is involved. Many people miss the warning signs, even when friends point them out. To help you understand and recognize it better, here are key things everyone should know about emotional abuse.
Note: The content of this article does not reflect the writer’s personal beliefs.
It Starts Subtly
Emotional abuse often begins with almost unnoticeable things, making it easy to overlook at first. Your partner might throw in a little criticism or a backhanded compliment that leaves you feeling off, but you can’t quite put your finger on why. Over time, these behaviors can grow, leaving you feeling more and more isolated and unsure of yourself.
It Invalidates You
Emotional abusers have one goal in mind: invalidate you and your feelings. For instance, someone may undermine and dismiss your feelings and experiences to belittle you. Another common practice is to invalidate your emotions and instead tell you how you should feel about events that happened in the past.
It Sets Unrealistic Expectations
Your abuser may also make unreasonable demands. For instance, he may ask you to stop seeing certain people because he ‘doesn’t trust them.’ Another typical example is your abuser expecting you to complete all house chores to perfection or spend all your free time with him.
It’s About Chaos
Emotional abuse is often chaotic. This means that your abuser may experience drastic mood swings, may change his mind about something in a matter of a few minutes, or may constantly try to argue over silly things for the sake of argument. Peace of mind and balance are a long-gone memory when dealing with emotional abuse.
Verbal Abuse
Emotional abuse is often coupled with verbal abuse. For instance, your partner may call you derogatory names, even publicly. He may claim he’s only joking, but if his behavior hurts you and he’s aware of this, he truly has no excuses. So stop defending him with your friends and face the issue.
It Uses Blackmailing
From silent treatment to guilt-tripping and constant manipulation, emotionally abusive partners have plenty of techniques to make you feel miserable. For instance, your lover may make you feel extremely guilty for wanting to spend time with your friends or tell you that if you do certain things, he will stop talking to you.
It’s Controlling
Is your partner controlling everything you do? From what you wear to who you go out with and what events you attend? These are all signs that you may be emotionally abused. The primary goal of all these behaviors is to control your life completely, not allowing you any power of choice.
It Isolates You
Emotional abusers often want to isolate you. This is because they know that your friends and relatives disapprove of your relationship, and for good reasons! Consequently, they may make negative remarks towards the people you love the most and try to jeopardize your relationship with them.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a term used to describe someone who manipulates someone else to make him doubt his own perception of reality. For instance, your partner may deny things you clearly remember happening, making you doubt your own memories. People in these situations may consider keeping a diary to ensure their memories are real.
It’s Based On A Superiority Conflict
Emotional abuse is often based on a superiority conflict. For instance, your partner may be condescending and always use sarcasm to belittle you, even in front of your friends and relatives. Emotional abusers often feel superior and act as such by never admitting their faults and mistakes.
It’s About Blaming
Emotional abusers always blame their victims even though they are the only ones responsible for their actions. This is because they act as if they were superior to you in all circumstances, meaning they can never be wrong or at fault. If your partner has a huge ego and never apologizes, chances are; he may be abusive.
It Impacts Your Friendships
Unfortunately, as we mentioned above, emotional abusers often want to isolate you from your friends. This means that people in these sorts of relationships usually have a hard time maintaining friendships. This can be especially true for people who have just moved to a different country and may still not have a good support system.
It Can Be Fought
Emotional abuse can be fought! But how? First of all, stop blaming yourself; this is precisely what your abuser wants. Second, stop trying to fix your partner and instead try to find your way out of this toxic relationship by building a support system and contacting experts.
It’s More Common Than You Think
Unfortunately, emotional abuse is incredibly common, with almost half of the US population experiencing this at least once throughout their lifetime. This means that you know someone who has suffered from this, and there is a good chance that one of your friends or relatives is dealing with it right now.
You May Be A Victim
Unfortunately, many victims of emotional abuse don’t realize the situation they are in. Most of the time, this form of abuse tends to be cyclical and inconsistent. This leads the victim to wait it out over time, never fully realizing how these actions are affecting their mental health. If you think you may be a victim, contact an expert for help.
It’s Cyclical
One of the main reasons why so many people continue to stay with abusive partners is because these relationships are cyclical. This means that there will be awful periods in which you may consider a divorce, followed by beautiful moments in which you change your mind about everything all over again.
More for You
When dealing with emotional abuse, our mental well-being is often compromised. A little step to bring clarity back to your life is prioritizing self-care. Here is a quick 5-minute skin routine that may help you get more presence into your life.
This article was first published on the RB ITALIA Blog.
