14 Things You Should Never Say to Your Spouse Unless You Want a Divorce
In any relationship, what you say matters a lot. Sometimes, we say things without thinking that can hurt our partner, even if we don’t mean to. There are certain things you might want to avoid saying because they can ruin your marriage. Here are some things you’re better off not saying to your spouse if you don’t want to damage your relationship.
“You Always Do This”
Nobody is perfect; we all make mistakes, but holding it against them and then generalizing the issue by saying, “You always do this,” only makes things worse. It’s not only belittling to your partner but also highly judgmental. As partners, you should tackle mistakes constructively, but when you say things like this, it sounds like you’re focusing on blame rather than understanding.
“You’re Overreacting”
You might think saying this would help your partner cool down, but it won’t. Instead, it will make them feel shut off and misunderstood. If they are opening up to you about something or sharing how they feel, listen to them and try to understand where they are coming from. Telling them they are overreacting only makes you come across as dismissive.
“I Don’t Have Time for This Right Now”
Healthy marriages thrive because they prioritize each other regardless of their individual commitments and responsibilities. They are always there for one another, and if you are unable to make time to listen to your partner or be there for them when they need you, you are signaling to them that they are not all that important and that whatever is bothering them can wait.
”This is All Your Fault”
Conflicts are a natural part of marriage; in many ways, they can even help couples grow stronger. But that all depends on how you deal with the issue at hand. Saying this phrase when a problem arises shifts the whole blame onto your partner, even if it’s not their fault. Such responses ultimately lead to resentment and make them feel unappreciated.
“Just Forget It”
Telling your spouse to “Just forget it” after a disagreement is a way to ruin your marriage really fast. While you may avoid accountability by making such a statement, it also undermines any chances of a constructive resolution. Ultimately, you are left with an unresolved issue and a partner that feels unvalued and dismissed.
“Why Can’t You Be More Like (Someone Else)”
This is possibly the worst thing you can say to your partner. Besides being hurtful, comparing your partner to someone else and expecting them to be more like them is also highly disrespectful. Though they might not show it, such a statement will damage their self-image and fill them with insecurity.
“I Don’t Care”
As a partner, you are expected to be there for them physically and emotionally. But if your response is always “I don’t care” whenever they try to talk about their feelings, you are single-handedly ruining the trust and intimacy in your relationship. Moreover, you come across as selfish and self-centered, with no care in the world for their feelings or needs.
“I Was Happier Before We Got Married”
Uttering such a statement directly attacks the foundation of your marriage. Not only does it suggest that your spouse is the source of your unhappiness and misery, but it also indicates that you regret your decision. As a result, your partner will eventually shut off as they lose trust and confidence in the relationship.
“My Friends Understand Me Better”
While having a healthy social life is essential even when married, prioritizing them over your spouse is a big no-no. Your spouse is your partner for life, and to say, “My friends understand me better,” even though they try, is just unfair and hurtful. Your spouse may feel neglected and devalued; therefore, it is crucial to maintain a balance.
“It’s Not My Problem”
Marriage is a partnership in which your problems are theirs and vice versa. Responding with, “It’s not my problem,” when your partner asks you for something or entrusts you with a responsibility severely damages your relationship. Over time, your partner may find you unreliable and feel disconnected.
“It’s Not a Big Deal”
Imagine your partner is upset about something. If you say that’s not a big deal, you’re basically telling them their feelings aren’t valid. It’s like saying, “Don’t worry about it; it’s not a problem.” Instead, try to understand why they’re upset and show that you care about their feelings.
“You Are a Disappointment”
Saying this to your partner can really hurt them and may ruin your marriage. It’s like telling them they’re not good enough. It’s better to talk to them calmly and explain what’s bothering you about them. Focus on the specific things they did wrong instead of attacking them as a person.
“I Don’t Need to Explain Myself to You”
As partners, it is essential to be transparent with each other. Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, but if your only response when asked about something is, “I don’t need to explain myself to you,” you are simply ruining your marriage. This statement only raises suspicions and creates a sense of mistrust, something that eventually breaks the relationship.
“I Regret Marrying You”
This is perhaps the worst thing you can say to your spouse. Whether you mean it or are in a rage, such a statement is damaging beyond measure. It completely undermines the very foundation of your marriage and can cause deep emotional damage that may be difficult to heal. Moreover, they may even begin to question their role and worth in your life, wondering if it is worth it to continue.
More For You
Marriage can be wonderful, but it also has its challenging moments. It’s essential to spot stress signs early so they don’t become more significant problems. Here are some things to watch out for before it’s too late. Keeping an eye on these can help you protect your relationship.
This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.
