Parents Who Struggle to Connect with Their Teens Often Make These 12 Mistakes

Teenagers are notorious for not getting along with their parents. While most of the time, it’s just a phase that teens grow out of, this doesn’t mean things have to be this way. Many parents fail to connect with their teens, not because of their children’s emotional age, but because they struggle to bond and form good relationships. If you want to be on good terms with your teens, then here are some common mistakes you must avoid.

Criticizing Instead Of Encouraging

If there’s one place in the world we feel safe, it’s home. But if a teen is coming home to parents who spend every minute of the day criticizing their choices and behavior, the teen will never feel comfortable enough to open up. Sure, teens are grumpy, but that doesn’t mean they need to be criticized; encourage and support them, and you’ll find they’ll be much happier.

Ignoring Their Interests

One of the most common reasons parents fail to bond with their teenagers is because they have conflicting interests. While it’s impossible to align all of your interests with your teens, this doesn’t mean you can’t align some of them. Learning about your teenager’s academic or personal interests is a great way to encourage them to bond with you.

Trying To Be Too Controlling

We might think we’re being protective by watching our teens and monitoring their every move, but we’re just helicopter parenting. Hovering over our teenagers, trying to dictate their every move, and controlling most of their decisions pushes them further back, which could go on well into adulthood. Encourage opening up to new activities and keeping a respectful distance to avoid drawing your kids away.

Judging Their Friends

If there’s one universal experience with teenagers, it’s being judged by their friends. You might disapprove of your young children’s friends, but outright disrespecting them, mocking them, and trying to banish their friendship will only push your teen closer to their friends and farther from you. Give your children’s friends a chance, and if they’re genuinely involved with a bad bunch, keep the door open so your kid knows to return to safety.

Expecting Blind Obedience

We all want our children to be respectful, but expecting blind obedience is outright absurd. Parents who expect blind obedience turn to orthodox and often harmful tactics to control their growing children’s lives, naturally pushing them further apart. You want to encourage a healthy relationship where your teenager knows they can rely on you but also knows not to cross the line.

Skipping Quality Time Together

If you’re spending too much time away from the family, it’s going to bite you in a decade or two. While most teens aren’t enthusiastic about showing affection, they still want their parents around, so you can’t mistake their lack of enthusiasm for a lack of care. Don’t skip quality time together, and if you’re really bound by work, ensure your teen knows why you can’t make it to soccer practice.

Setting Unrealistic Expectations

We all want our kids to reach for the stars, but we set unrealistic expectations in doing so. Unrealistic expectations don’t mean your child is unable to do something, but these expectations are catered toward a particular skill set that your child may take longer to achieve. It’s best to set realistic goals with multiple steps, so you won’t have to stress your teen and make them feel like you’re disappointed.

Overreacting To Mistakes

Teenagers do stupid things; it’s part of their journey growing up. And sometimes, they make mistakes that genuinely have you questioning everything. But treating them harshly and overeating to the point you’re being aggressive and rude are just ways to push your child away. You want to teach accountability but not overreact so frequently that your teens can’t approach you when they fumble up.

Refusing To Admit Their Own Mistakes

Not only do kids make mistakes, but sometimes, parents do, too. And more often than not, these parents are unwilling to budge and accept they’ve made a mistake. When this happens, you push your children away because of stubbornness and encourage them to exhibit the same behavior when they make mistakes. Normalize apologizing when you’ve fumbled, and you’ll find it much easier to bond with your teens.

Ignoring Their Need For Independence

If there’s one thing teens need, it’s independence. Our teen years are the most critical part of growing up because we explore boundaries and learn about privacy. Preventing them from exploring their independence will only foster resentment and confusion. It’s much healthier to encourage independence with reasonable limits.

Imposing Double Standards

Nothing gets a teenager worked up more than finding out their parents aren’t following the same rules as them. Sure, some rules like a curfew make sense. But if you’re outright banning your teenagers from activities or actions you frequently do, you’re setting up a bad example and imposing double standards. Be open about curfews and try to meet in the middle with other rules.

Avoiding Open Conversations About Difficult Topics

Many people are hesitant to broach sensitive and mature topics, even well into adulthood. This hesitation doesn’t happen on a whim but is a pattern they normalize when growing up. If you’re not going to be open about difficult and sensitive topics, you’re actively preventing your teenager from ever healthily learning about them. This can disrupt their understanding of the world and how it operates.

More For You

Life doesn’t come with a guidebook, and sometimes parents don’t cover every important topic along the way. Things like managing money or dealing with awkward social situations are often left for us to figure out ourselves. Let’s take a look at some things you probably weren’t taught growing up.

This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.