How to Handle Family Drama This Christmas: 14 Must-Know Strategies
No family is perfect, but if yours is incredibly challenging to get along with, you’ll need strength this Christmas. You can’t entirely prevent your family from running into chaos, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try. If you’re looking for ways to keep your dysfunctional family in check this year and avoid messy arguments altogether, especially at the Christmas dinner, here are some tips to help.
Limit Alcohol
The only sure way to ensure nobody erupts into fights and disagreements is to keep a low alcohol profile. You don’t have to stop serving alcohol altogether, but set a limit to how many glasses each guest can have. Ensure you only serve the liquor your guests bring because if you serve yours, they’ll only ask for theirs to be brought in and drink unlimited.
Keep Topics Neutral
It’s never a good idea to talk about things you know will not please others. Whether it’s politics, childcare, religion, or current affairs, it’s best to keep the dinner conversation neutral so you and your family don’t get into a fight when the party hasn’t even started yet. Stick to polite conversations and positive updates.
Set Firm Boundaries
If things aren’t going your way (and chances are this will happen), stick firmly to your boundaries and put your foot down. Your family might make fun of you or call you rude and belligerent, but don’t give in to their antics and set firm boundaries. Don’t hesitate to show them the door if your family gets too tricky.
Minimize Interaction Time
You might think this is weird, but you don’t have to cater to your family for a whole day; just a couple of hours will do. Set a clear schedule, i.e., the party starts at 4 PM and ends at 7 PM. Although you’ll have plenty of family members trying to extend their stay, be firm about it and ask your partner to get the house cleared so you have plenty of time to relax.
Politely Say No
Practice saying no. We all know how coercive some family members can be, so you’ll need to stay firm and resolute and ensure you’re able to say no to things you’re uncomfortable with. But don’t be overtly blunt; keep a polite tone so your guests don’t have the chance to point fingers at you and call you rude.
Take Breaks
You’ll exhaust yourself if you cater to your family without any breathing breaks. Whether it’s stepping out of the kitchen for a few minutes to cool down, taking a smoke break, or going for a walk to clear your mind, don’t hesitate to take breaks when you’re feeling mentally and physically overstimulated. Normalize taking breaks for your sake.
Mentally Prepare Yourself
We’re all familiar with how draining it can be to hang out with some family members, but you don’t realize the extent of it until they leave. Next thing you know, you’re feeling down and irritated with no way to stabilize your mood. So, the only thing you can do to prevent this is mentally prepare yourself for unexpected and expected scenarios. Stay strong, and you’ll power through.
Announce Triggers
This might sound a little out of the ordinary, but discuss triggering topics with your family members to ensure you have a smooth dinner. Be very firm about the boundaries regarding triggering topics; communicate that you won’t tolerate anyone discussing triggering issues, and stay true to your word by showing them the door if they do.
Bring A Support System
Whether you’re hosting or attending, ensure you’ve got a strong support system. It doesn’t have to be your spouse or children; it can even be a friend who you know won’t back down when it comes to standing up for you. Don’t hesitate to reach out when you know things are getting tough; you’ll appreciate having a support system once you’re done meeting the family.
Avoid Personal Updates
Gone are the days when you felt pressured into talking about things you didn’t want to; it’s time you took a stand and skipped sharing any personal updates you wanted to keep to yourself. Whether it’s a new job, a big promotion, leasing a car/apartment, or even getting a dog, don’t share personal updates until you feel comfortable.
Plan Fun Group Activities
Planning fun activities is a great way to keep everyone busy and avoid awkward or tense moments. Try games like charades or trivia that everyone can join in on, or set up something creative like decorating cookies together. These simple activities get people laughing and interacting in a positive way.
Stick to a Simple Menu
When dealing with a tricky family dynamic, don’t make things harder on yourself by planning an elaborate meal. Go for a simple menu with dishes that are easy to make but still taste great. Choose foods that most people will enjoy without too much fuss. This way, you can spend less time stressing over the cooking and more time handling the family in a calm and organized way.
Accept Imperfections
Remember that we’re all flawed human beings. Your family may not be easy to get along with, but we’re all fighting our battles and deserve some grace. Accept small imperfections and expect the same treatment; don’t fret too much if your family is just annoying or frustrating. Place boundaries to ensure you’re all on the same page.
Have An Exit Strategy
If nothing works and your gathering ends up in full chaos, it’s time to pull the plug and execute a flawless exit strategy. Involve your partner and kids (if any) in the plan; be prepared to head out the door if things come to the worst-case scenario. Ensure you’re quick and polite so your family can’t blame you for ruining the vibe.
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This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.
