16 Quiet Red Flags That Could Mean You’re Being Manipulated
It’s hard when you feel like someone, especially your partner, might be messing with your emotions. Manipulation can leave you doubting yourself and second-guessing things. A partner who manipulates usually puts their own needs above yours, often without caring how you feel. Wondering if this could be happening to you? Here are 16 signs to watch for.
Note: The content of this article does not reflect the writer’s personal beliefs.
They Are Never At Fault
When was the last time your partner said: “I’m sorry,” “You are right,” or “I’m wrong”? If you can’t remember, chances are that he never did. People who are unable to admit their mistakes often tend to blame others for their errors, leading them to believe that they are the causes of all problems in their relationship.
The Silent Treatment
The silent treatment can be incredibly painful and difficult to deal with. How can you solve an issue if your partner refuses to talk to you? You can’t. While taking some time to be alone and process feelings is normal, if your partner hasn’t talked to you in days, he’s probably trying to manipulate you.
You Detect Lies
Do you have a feeling that your partner is lying about something? Or, even worse, do you have a proof? People wanting to manipulate others often lie to them to invalidate their thoughts and feelings. For instance, they may not tell you the truth about the people they are seeing or the places they are going.
They Exploit Your Weaknesses
Manipulative partners know your weaknesses and how to exploit them. For instance, your spouse may be aware that you have a hard time saying no and may, therefore, push you to do things or join activities you are uncomfortable with, such as endless afternoons of socialization that drain your energy reservoirs.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting refers to the habit of trying to convince someone that their perception of reality is wrong. For instance, your partner may try to convince you that something you remember clearly never happened, making you question your own mental sanity and health.
You Feel Threaten
Do you tend to feel threatened in your relationship? Feeling safe is crucial for your mental wellbeing. Can you share all your feelings and thoughts with your partner without fear of being physically or emotionally abused? Or do you tend to hide your true feelings?
They Belittle You
Do you often feel belittled? Does your partner tend to make fun of you in public, sharing your personal information? Or are they constantly teasing you even though they know their actions will hurt you? You may be dealing with a manipulative partner if this is your case. Face the issue, and consider breaking up if things don’t change.
They Control You
Manipulation is also linked to a partner’s need to control your entire life. For instance, your spouse may decide who you are allowed to see and who you cannot hang out with as they ‘don’t trust them.’ They may also make other decisions for you, such as what you can wear and what events you can attend.
Avoidant Style
People can have different attachment styles, which are defined as how you behave in a romantic relationship. In particular, the avoidant style can be connected to manipulation. These people tend to distance themselves from their loved ones instead of discussing problems and trying to solve them constructively.
They Blame You For Their Mistakes
Your partner may constantly blame you for something you have nothing to do with and for which they are actually responsible. Unfortunately, while this may be obvious to your friends, once you’re in an abusive relationship, you may believe your spouse and start blaming yourself.
They Want To Isolate You
Manipulative partners often want to isolate you from your friends and relatives. Why? Because they are perfectly aware that these people know about their manipulative behaviors and are trying to convince you to break up with them. This is why these partners often talk badly about your friends and try to keep you away.
Passive-Aggressive Behaviors
Constant sarcasm, backhanded compliments, and sudden ghosting are passive-aggressive behaviors that can slowly deteriorate your union. This type of manipulation can be incredibly harmful, leading to several conflicts and an inability to be fully yourself with your partner.
Using Your Triggers Against You
Most partners are well aware of each other’s triggers. For instance, your husband may know what tends to stress you and use it against your favor whenever you start an argument. Other partners may use your triggers against you to get your attention or escalate an argument quickly.
Blackmailing
Blackmailing can be done in so many ways. For instance, your partner may tell you that they will do terrible things in case you decide to break up with them, from never talking to you again to taking your kids away and ensuring you will never see them and – in the worst casing – threatening you he will commit suicide.
Obsessive Focus On Others
Manipulative people often focus on what others may say, do, or think rather than concentrating on you two. For instance, he may try to convince you that his wrongdoings are not so bad because his friends are doing way worse. Or he may try to convince you to avoid doing something, telling you that other people may judge you.
They Use Guilt as a Weapon
Manipulative partners love to use guilt to get their way. They’ll make you feel responsible for their problems or unhappiness, often saying things like, “If you really cared about me, you’d do this.” This kind of emotional blackmail makes it hard for you to stand up for yourself and can leave you feeling stuck in the relationship.
More For You
Dealing with a manipulative partner can be incredibly difficult. Acknowledging the problem is the first step towards healing, but there are a few extra ways to prioritize your well-being, even in challenging situations. Here is a quick five-minute skincare routine to bring more mindfulness into your life.
This article was first published on the RB ITALIA Blog.
