12 Things to Know Before You Start Dating After Divorce

Divorces are complex enough, but nothing prepares you for the unexpected demands of dating after a divorce. You struggle to find the right person, you’re overwhelmed, and you don’t know if you’ll make it. While it’s challenging, don’t let your fears cloud your experience. We’re sharing some things every divorcee needs to know before they step out into the dating field again:

Healing Takes Time

Many divorcees make things look easy, but the truth is, they’ve all struggled at some point. Divorce is heartbreaking and challenging, even if it is amicable. You’ll be nursing your wounds for quite a while because every little thing could take you back to the good old days. Take your time healing, and ensure you’re only stepping into the dating zone once you’ve processed your emotions.

Reflect on What You Want in a Partner

Take some time to think about what you really want in a partner before you start dating again. After your divorce, your needs and priorities might have changed, and that’s completely normal. Focus on the qualities that matter most to you now and what will make you happy in the future. Being clear about what you’re looking for will help you avoid settling and guide you toward better, healthier relationships.

Be Honest

If you’re hiding that you were divorced and not getting much luck, it might be because you’re not being honest. While you might not want to share your trauma or past history with new partners, especially when it’s still a sore topic, it’s not a great look if you hide it altogether. It’s much better to state that you’re divorced and articulate how it’s a sensitive topic for you; this way, you’ll stay honest and won’t have to worry about breaking boundaries.

Embrace Who You Are

Another reason we recommend being honest about your divorce is that it’s a part of who you are. You might not think being a divorcee is part of your identity, but don’t take your divorce as a failure; take it as a success and a chance to move on to a healthier and happier relationship. Once you embrace who you are, you’ll find yourself becoming more confident with dates.

Start Slow

Modern dating can be intimidating because it involves several stages, and you may be afraid of giving the wrong impression. But don’t feel scared or worried; it’s okay to take things slow. Taking baby steps is the best way to ensure you’re stepping into dating with the right mindset; otherwise, you’ll only draw back into your shell. It’s also best to inform any partners that you want to take things slow to ensure you’re all on the same page.

Focus On Self-Care

Divorces can be messy and really ruin our self-esteem, so once they’re finalized, we no longer feel like ourselves. Picking up the pieces you left long ago might sound scary, but it’s only a natural part of healing. Starting dating when you’ve barely healed yourself will only implicate your chances of genuinely moving on, so prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health before you do anything else.

Don’t Compare

We get it; many divorcees are afraid to go into the same relationship dynamic that they left, so they keep comparing new partners with ex-spouses to see if they’re on the right track. But comparison is the thief of joy; the more you compare your partners to your ex-spouse, the easier it is for insecurities to seep, so you accidentally destroy your own relationship. Instead of comparing, ensure you’re not settling for the same traits and find joy much quicker than expected.

Be Ready For Rejection

Getting divorced already puts your self-esteem at the bottom, so something as simple as a rejection can feel heartbreaking. But don’t let it go over your head; rejections don’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with you. In fact, take every rejection as another step in the right direction; with the right mindset and a slow pace, you’ll find the one you truly deserve.

Don’t Overshare

We think confiding in our loved ones is a great way to heal and move on, but that’s not always true. Sometimes, oversharing can lead to significant trouble when your partner cannot help you. For example, if you say you still think about your marriage, it might create the impression you’re still pining for your ex, which won’t be a good look to your current partner. It’s best to share information as carefully as possible.

Be Open To New Experiences

Don’t shy away from experiencing new things. You might be afraid of making a few mistakes, but that’s what makes us human. Embrace the adventure and try to see what you like; you might even learn something surprising about yourself. New experiences boost confidence and help you bond with new partners.

Don’t Judge

Many divorcees are skeptical and cautious because of their past experience, so they’ll see every person with a skewed lens. You might think every potential partner out there is going to hurt you, but this is just your fear and judgment talking. If you let both cloud your chances of finding romance, you’ll never be able to find joy. It’s best to give everyone a chance, especially those you really click with.

Know When To Walk Away

While it’s important not to judge and give people a chance, it’s also important to prioritize your self-esteem, worth, and health. If someone makes you uncomfortable, intimidated, or scared, walking away is best, even if it hurts. You might think it’s heartbreaking and that you won’t be able to heal, but once you walk away, you’ll find yourself thriving.

More For You

If you just started dating and are open to new experiences, why not plan a mini vacation? Traveling together will let you know a lot about a person and their habits. It will also help you understand each other better.

This article was first published on RB ITALIA Blog.