18 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Adult Child

We all like to believe we’re the perfect parents, but we don’t realize some things until we face our adult children. Reconnecting with adult children is much more complicated than you think. Building a good relationship with them as adults often means approaching things differently than when they were younger. It’s about understanding, respect, and finding new ways to stay close. Here are some simple yet effective ways to strengthen your bond with your adult children and keep your connection strong.

Practice active listening

One of the main reasons adult children feel disconnected from their parents is because they don’t feel heard. Listening to your children’s concerns, don’t brush them off, even when they’re well into adulthood. It conveys that you value them and are willing to reconnect.

Share experiences

Most parents shield their children from negative experiences, but keeping everything in the dark will drive them away. A great way to reconnect with children is to open up to them and share past experiences so they understand you better. That way, they’ll learn about your struggles and how you coped with them.

Healthy communication

Many adult children hesitate to approach their parents because they don’t have a healthy communication channel. Become the safe space your children need; create a healthy channel so they can approach you for anything. Talk to them without filters so your child doesn’t hide anything that can affect their mental health.

Respect boundaries

Most adult children establish heavy boundaries to filter negative experiences. Parents who overstep these boundaries or insult them will never be able to build stronger bonds with children, so try to respect them, even if they seem unusual to you. They may have something going on in their mind which is disturbing them.

Accept their lifestyles

We think our children are babies, even when they’re leading independent lives. It’s important to see them as adults and accept that they made lifestyle changes that may not always align with our values but still deserve recognition. Respect their choices and their independent decisions.

Stop favoritism

You may not see it, but almost every household with siblings has a favorite child. Such choices can dramatically affect your children’s well-being, but refusing to acknowledge the differences will prevent you from moving to a healthier relationship. Keep them all equal and feel loved.

Prioritize healing

You may be tempted to bring up past incidents but remember, it’s all about you and your children heal from traumatic and upsetting situations. You won’t be able to move on until you prioritize healing your children’s inner child. Offer them support, and if needed, take them to a therapist.

Stay neutral

Picking sides can drastically turn your children against you or each other. It’s important to stay neutral so you won’t upset your children. Never pick sides, as it can make them feel less loved. However, don’t let this neutrality shield you from speaking up against unjust situations.

Seek professional help

Sometimes, you won’t be able to build a relationship with grown children until you bring a professional into it. An unbiased opinion will help uncover uncomfortable truths, but you can move on to a healthier relationship. You never know; your child may have a trauma that has led them to behave in a certain way.

Be patient

Don’t rush the process; rebuilding bonds and trust takes a long time, which might span years. It’s important to stay calm and collected and handle situations with patience. It may seem hard at first, but it will pay off in the long run. Rather than lashing out if they did something wrong, sit down and talk politely.

Be consistent

You won’t be able to strengthen a bond if you dip in and out of commitments. Staying consistent will help your children realize that you’re serious about reconnecting, but going off the radar randomly will convey the opposite. This can make them feel like you don’t value them or their feelings.

Celebrate their achievements

Acknowledge and celebrate your children’s achievements, no matter how big or small they are. Showing pride in your children’s success not only builds their confidence but also shows your trust in them. It motivates them to achieve more success in the future.

Mutual learning

There is no harm in learning from the younger ones. Sit with them and listen to what they have to say without interrupting or judging them. This mutual exchange of knowledge and perspectives is a beautiful way to grow together and deepen your bond with your children.

Spend time with them

Make an effort to spend quality time with your adult children. Try to learn what interests them and participate in those activities together. This will strengthen your bond, and you can create new memories together. It doesn’t have to be anything adventurous; you can choose something as simple as going on a walk together.

Maintain Regular Contact

Keeping in regular contact with your adult children helps strengthen your relationship with them. It doesn’t always have to be a long conversation; sometimes, a quick text or a shared meme can let them know you’re thinking of them. Asking them how they are doing or if they need anything will make a huge difference.

Address Conflicts Calmly

When conflicts arise, stay patient and calm. Try to see things from their perspective and find common ground. Focus on solutions that work for both of you. Remember, resolving conflicts together can strengthen your relationship with your adult children and keep them close.

Share Family Traditions

Invite your adult kids to join in on family traditions or even start some new ones together. Whether it’s gathering for holiday celebrations or cooking your favorite family recipe, these moments help keep everyone connected. Traditions like these create a strong sense of belonging and can make your bond even stronger.

Apologize When Necessary

If you’ve made a mistake or hurt their feelings, don’t hesitate to say you’re sorry. A heartfelt apology can mend a lot of fences. It shows you care about their feelings and value your relationship. Owning up to your actions can help heal and rebuild trust between you.