12 Smart Ways to Respond When People Ignore Your Boundaries

Establishing boundaries is challenging, especially when you’re experimenting with them yourself. It’s also frustrating when dealing with someone who frequently oversteps your boundaries despite being repeatedly told not to. In such circumstances, it’s important to take a stand for yourself and tell someone off, even if it seems rude. If you’re trying to figure out how to respond smartly, here are some ideas you can follow.

Restate Your Boundary Clearly

Sometimes, bluntly restating things is a great way to redefine your boundaries. Don’t mince your words or soften your tone. Restate each boundary clearly. For example, say, “I do not like it when people discuss XYZ. Sorry, it is a boundary, and I won’t tolerate anyone crossing it.” Repeating this enough times will convince the other person to feel embarrassed enough not to do it.

Stay Calm

Your reaction might be justified, but angrily reacting to a particular affair can make the other person defensive. This means even if they’re crossing a limit, your anger or frustration gives them an edge. They’ll use it to their defense, and you won’t be able to set your boundary properly. This is why it’s important you stay calm. Don’t let anyone cross your boundaries, but keep a calm and cool head.

Be Firm And Polite

Being calm and cool doesn’t mean you cave to the pressure and give up on your boundaries; you can do both. Be firm about your boundaries and ensure you communicate them politely. Say things like, “I’m sorry, but I won’t talk about this anymore.” A polite tone like this keeps you from looking like the bad guy and emphasizes the actions of the person crossing your boundaries.

Limit Interactions

You don’t have to meet up with someone who frequently crosses your boundaries. Sometimes, the only way to deal with such a person is to cut them out, even if they’re family. Limit interactions, especially when you feel like the other person won’t just learn. The lack of communication will alert the other person, and they’ll take the subtle hint as a clear sign of you wanting to stay away.

Seek Support From Others

You don’t have to deal with a boundary-crosser alone. Seeking support from others will help you affirm your boundaries and set them in place. Support boosts our confidence, and knowing we’ve got several people looking out for us makes it easier to confront someone who’s frequently crossing our boundaries. It also gives us a shoulder to lean on when things get tough.

Hold Them Accountable

While being the bigger person is usually recommended, don’t let things go. If you ignore someone crossing a boundary, you’ll only give them the freedom and unspoken permission to do it again. Hold them accountable. Let them know what they’re doing is wrong and deserves consequences. Stay firm, and don’t bow to any pressure telling you to let go.

Use Non-Negotiable Language

Sometimes, people who like crossing boundaries use a lack of firm language to defend themselves. They’ll argue that you never really told them that crossing a boundary was non-negotiable, so they’ll continue doing it. This is why it’s important to be loud and clear. Say things like, “This is non-negotiable” or “I will not be entertaining this conversation anymore.”

Change The Topic

If you’re tired of their antics, simply change the topic. Now, while this might seem like a silly gesture, it’s quite powerful. Changing topics gives you control over the conversation so that you can steer it away from uncomfortable topics. It also makes the other person feel embarrassed since they’re probably trying to make you feel small by crossing your boundaries.

Remove Yourself From The Situation

If you’re stuck with a conversationalist who won’t stop bringing up hurtful topics, you can remove yourself from the situation despite being told not to numerous times. Simply get up and leave elsewhere, even if you’re at a family reunion. Even changing seats is a subtle sign telling them to stay away from you. It’s a great way to assert your dominance, too.

Call Out Their Behavior

“You do know you’re being hurtful, right?”. “You’re definitely trying to rile me up on purpose.” “You’re trying to stir the pot.” “You think you’re being smart, but I’m onto you.” Statements like these might be considered rude and a bit blunt, but they’re the perfect solution for anyone who’s frequently crossing boundaries and pretending like they’re not doing it.

Set Consequences

People make us feel guilty for setting consequences, stating that we’re making their lives difficult. But you are not at fault. If someone’s doing something hurtful, they deserve to be held accountable, even if it’s something drastic, like being cut off entirely. Do not hesitate to set consequences. Limit contact, cut it entirely, or practically ignore them anywhere you meet.

Practice Saying No

Remember this: someone overstepping your boundaries is not your fault. However, it wouldn’t hurt to practice saying no. Most of us grow up normalizing, taking on more than we want, so we don’t really enforce boundaries the way we should. The result is people frequently stepping over our boundaries because they can claim we never enforced them.

More For You

Does it feel like your boss is always watching your every move? Dealing with micromanagement can be frustrating and make you feel like you’re not trusted. If you’re starting to question your skills because of constant supervision, you’re not alone. Here are some signs your boss might be micromanaging you.

This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.