12 Smart Ways to Respond When People Give You Backhanded Compliments
Being complimented is all fun and games until you realize you’re being ridiculed. Backhanded compliments aren’t only insulting; they reduce confidence and boost insecurities, even if you’re trying your hardest not to let someone’s words get to you. Well, we’ve figured out ways to respond when people give you backhanded compliments. Try these, and you’ll give them something to think about.
Say “Thank You” And Move On
Sometimes, people give backhanded compliments because they’re trying to rile the other person up. This means they’re probably looking to bother you and get under your skin in hopes of getting some reaction. In this case, the best thing to do is to thank them and move on politely. Your gratitude will shock them, and they’ll probably mull things over and over again in their head.
Acknowledge It Lightly
Take the backhanded compliment lightly, even if it secretly bothers you. Don’t outright ignore it because that will only make the other person think they were successful in riling you up. Just acknowledge it lightly, as if it didn’t matter much, and then move on with the conversation. Trust us, it’ll bother them a lot!
Use Humor
Humor is a great way to deliver your points without having to be mean. You can use humorous tactics to make the other person feel embarrassed. If someone backhands compliments your dress, say things like ‘I know, right, you’d think I was in a marching band,’ ridiculing yourself in a light tone takes the joke out of their intentions.
Politely Ask For Clarity
We all know backhanded compliments are really just insults coated in something sweet. But instead of confronting the other person aggressively, you could play naive and ask them what exactly they meant. Asking for clarity won’t only invalidate their insult, but it’ll also make them feel awkward because they’ll actually have to explain their thought process behind the backhanded compliment, which will reveal their ill intentions.
Turn It Into A Compliment
A compliment is a compliment, even if it’s backhanded, so why not treat it like one? If someone says, “Your makeup is good, but it makes your eyes look like saucer plates,” reply, “Thank you. I was going for the doe-eyed look”. This way, you’ll convert every mean, backhanded compliment into an actual compliment and sprinkle a little sass on the way.
Keep A Neutral Expression
Many people throw backhanded compliments because they’re looking to make you feel awful. Since they’ll be looking at you for some reaction, the best revenge is to give no reaction at all. Keep a neutral expression and calmly go about the conversation as if you didn’t notice how their compliment is actually a sugar-coated insult. It’ll frustrate them to no end!
Point It Out Nicely
“That wasn’t too nice” is a powerful statement when you’re challenging someone’s mean streak. While it’s a bit blunt, it’s also got the perfect amount of niceness to keep you in the safe zone. To you and everybody else, calling out someone’s backhanded compliments is a great way to point out how problematic and hurtful their actions are.
Respond With Kindness
While we know you’ll probably be simmering with anger inside, it’s best to keep calm and cool on the outside. A zen mood will help deflect backhanded compliments with grace, and you’ll stay on people’s good side. Respond kindly to their comments. Let them know how hurtful they can be, but ensure you’re kind so they don’t make an issue out of your tone later.
Challenge The Comment Gently
“What do you mean I look like XYZ?” “Did you really just say that?” “I sure hope you didn’t mean that because I could say the same to you.” Don’t hesitate to whip sentences like these when the person you’re talking to won’t stop throwing offhanded compliments. Directly questioning and challenging backhanded compliments invalidate their purpose and call out the behavior of the person saying them.
Politely Exit The Conversation
A big benefit of being self-respected is that you don’t have to sit through conversations and topics that make you uncomfortable or hurt you. “Thank you, but I didn’t like that, so I’ll opt out of this conversation.” Statements like these are powerful enough to get the message across and hopefully put the other person to shame.
Change The Topic
You might try your hardest not to let someone’s words get to you, but sometimes, feelings happen. If you feel emotionally charged after being given a backhanded compliment, prioritize the protection of your feelings and quickly change the topic. If the other person keeps insisting on circling back to the said backhanded compliment, firmly state that you’d like to switch topics.
Be Honest About Your Feelings
It makes people incredibly uncomfortable to know they’ve hurt someone. Tell the person who gave you backhanded compliments how badly they hurt you. Express your raw emotions and mental state. Let them know how their words affected your self-esteem and confidence. Hopefully, if they’re a decent enough person, they’ll step up and apologize.
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This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.
