16 Things You Didn’t Know You Were Doing That Are Hurting Your Friendships

Being a good friend means being there for each other, offering support, and showing your friends that you care. But sometimes, life gets busy, and we start to wonder if we’re really being the friends they need. You might ask yourself if there’s something you could do better or if you need to change the way you show up for them. If you want to make sure your friendships are strong and that you’re truly there for the people who matter to you, here are some signs that it might be time to give a little more attention and care.

You Don’t Listen

While you may think you’re all ears for your friend, they might not believe the same. Everyone needs a friend who patiently and truly listens to what they’re saying; being a good friend means paying attention to the hidden cues in your friends’ words and focusing on what they have to say. But you’ll need to improve communication if you’re cutting them off to talk about yourself.

You Forget Important Things

It’s natural to forget a thing or two. Still, if you’re constantly being reminded of significant events by other people or only attending them at the last minute, you’ve got to set your priorities straight. Most people value birthdays, anniversaries, or essential events; if you’re not even able to memorize a date, you don’t value them as they do you.

You Only Talk About Yourself

We’ve all got a friend who tends to talk over everyone; such people aren’t interested in what others have to say and are always eager to get their turn. While they may or may not realize what’s happening, their attempts to dominate discussions upset others, who feel underappreciated and undervalued.

You Don’t Make Time

We’ve all got life, but true friends find the time to hang out or talk, even if it’s just for a minute. You don’t need to hang out every day, but making time for important events, especially those you’ve been invited to months in advance, shows you care. Missing events, critical meetups, and even catch-up conversations frequently suggest you aren’t invested in the friend group.

You Gossip About Them

Talking behind someone’s back is always hurtful, but it’s incredibly heartbreaking when someone you think is a close friend does it to you. Gossiping about your friend’s intimate matters and sharing details they only felt comfortable sharing with you is not only a wrong move that hurts others but reflects negatively on you.

You Don’t Apologize

We all make mistakes, but being unable to accept wrongdoing, especially when you know you were at fault, is taken negatively. Not admitting your mistake or being the bigger person when friendships are at stake can be seen as arrogance and a lack of kindness. Friends will also get tired of such a person and cut their losses.

You Don’t Respect Their Boundaries

We think friends don’t have boundaries, but every relationship has concrete rules and regulations. While you might find your friends’ boundaries ridiculous, it’s still essential for them, so you shouldn’t joke about them and try your best to be as accommodating as possible.

You Don’t Support Their Other Friendships

We all have someone we’re incredibly close to, but that doesn’t mean that person can’t have other friends. A person’s friend dynamics won’t always be restricted to one social circle, so expecting them to set aside other social relationships and only cater to yours is unkind and controlling.

You’re Quick To Criticize

Friends are usually honest with each other, but being quick to point out mistakes and being overly blunt is insensitive. If you’re always observing and nitpicking certain elements of your friend, you’re not only encouraging personal insecurities but also affecting their confidence in making healthy friendships.

You Use Them As Emotional Dumping Grounds

We all vent to our friends, but constantly offloading personal and emotional problems is sensitive, especially if your friend isn’t in the mental space to handle someone else’s problems. While we’d all like to share our problems and let loose of our burdens, someone who dominates conversations with personal issues is seen negatively.

You’re Unreliable

Suppose you’re always late to meetups, missing out on specific events, forgetting important details, and creating a mess entangling your friends. In that case, you need to straighten your priorities. Friends need stable friends, someone they can rely on, but if you’re unreliable, you’re not a good friend.

You Are Dismissive Of Their Interests

We won’t always like what our friends do, and that’s okay. But mocking or belittling someone’s interests only because they don’t align with yours is unhealthy and unnecessarily damaging; it conveys you don’t respect your friend’s passions and don’t support them.

You Don’t Celebrate Their Successes

You sometimes struggle to show excitement for your friends’ achievements, making you come off as unsupportive or indifferent. It can seem like you don’t care about their happiness or success. Instead of joining in their joy, you might stay quiet or change the subject. This can leave your friends feeling unappreciated and misunderstood.

You’re Not Empathetic

Sometimes, you have a hard time connecting with your friends’ emotions, and this can make them feel like you’re not really listening or understanding them. When they share something personal, you might not respond in a way that shows you get it. Taking the time to really listen and show that you care about their feelings can make a big difference.

You Hold Grudges

We all mess up sometimes, but holding onto anger for too long can really damage a friendship. If you can’t let go of past mistakes, it starts to build up resentment and makes things uncomfortable. Learning to forgive and move forward is key to keeping your friendship in a good place.

You Overly Involve In Their Lives

While friendship is all about being there for each other, even close friends have things they don’t want to disclose. Constantly inserting yourself in their personal affairs, being nosy about things happening around/to them, and consistently trying to interfere in their lives without being asked to be intrusive, rude, and borderline suffocating. Don’t bug them for details; let them share things (or not share them) at their own pace.