16 Proven Strategies for Resolving Conflicts Without Hurting Your Relationship
All couples have arguments now and then, but what really matters is how you handle them. Dealing with disagreements in a positive way can actually bring you and your partner closer. With the right mindset, these moments can help you learn more about each other and grow together. Here are some simple tips to help you communicate better, work through conflicts, and keep your relationship strong and happy.
Pick Your Timing

While many fights materialize out of nowhere, trying to control the timing is still essential if you can. Picking a fight when your partner is already stressed, worried, or exhausted will only infuriate them more and worsen matters. It is much better to hold on to your points until you’re sure you and your partner are in a suitable mental space to handle things.
Calm Down

A fight that begins awfully ends awfully. While this might sound absurd, starting a fight in a bad mood will set the mood for the entire conversation. If you bring up things calmly and collectedly and ensure you’re respectful to your partner, you’ll be able to control the conversation enough to move toward a resolution.
Focus On The Issue, Not The Person

One of the biggest reasons fights develop into blow-ups is because couples tend to blame each other instead of focusing on the problem. For example, if you’re concerned about your partner’s habits and would like to address them, don’t use them to label your partner; communicate that it’s you and your partner versus the problem.
Don’t Dig Up Past

Bringing up old grievances during an argument is no different than throwing fuel to the fire. Doing so shifts the focus from solving the present issue to reopening old wounds. It makes your partner feel attacked and turns an argument into a bitter fight. Instead, stay focused on the specific issue at hand and discuss it calmly. Remember that you two are against the problem, not against each other.
Listen Actively

One of the most frustrating things when arguing with a partner is feeling like you’re not being heard enough. It’s important to lend an ear to your partner, even if they’re complaining about something related to you. When you focus on listening to each other’s concerns, your and your partner’s communication will naturally improve.
Avoid Name-Calling, Insults, And Threats

Resorting to name-calling, hurling insults at your partner, or threatening them with inevitable consequences is an incredibly unhealthy behavior that contributes to further frustration and misery. If you struggle to communicate your points, don’t resort to such childish behavior; try to handle things lovingly and politely.
Stick To One Issue

Discussing too many issues at once can be a problem in itself. Sometimes, you need to handle things individually and address things and issues by order of priority. Blurting things out confuses your partner and makes them feel cornered, so they’ll have no choice but to lash out.
Be Willing To Compromise

If you enter a fight with a one-winner-only mindset, you’ll create an atmosphere that doesn’t leave room for growth. If you and your partner are in it for each other’s sake and care, you’ll naturally want to compromise, be it making a few sacrifices or meeting in the middle to come to a resolution.
Focus On Solutions, Not Blame

It’s important to focus on the problem to find a solution, not just to address it. Sometimes, we can lose our focus mid-fight, so we’ll win but not feel satisfied. This is because a fight that isn’t solution-oriented will put off the problem until it becomes big enough to create more chaos actively.
Take Responsibility For Your Actions

It’s incredibly upsetting to deal with a partner unwilling to budge on their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions. If you take responsibility for your actions and actively work to improve yourself, you’ll realize your partner will make a similar effort to appease you.
Take A Break If Things Get Too Heated

Sometimes, arguments can escalate quickly, and taking a break might be the best way to avoid saying things you’ll regret. If you or your partner feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to pause the conversation. Give each other space to cool down, then come back with a clearer mind to resolve the issue.
Use “I” Statements

Constantly stressing over yourself when fighting makes your partner feel like they are not playing an equal part in the relationship. Using our or we when discussing things like dealbreakers and issues conveys that despite all the challenging experiences you’re going through, you still consider yourself a team.
Seek Professional Help If Needed

People think bringing in professional help is demeaning and intrusive, but it’s not. Seeking a professional at any time can improve your relationship; you’ll be able to see each other through a neutral third party, discuss problems in an open environment, and work toward solutions when you’re feeling lost.
Don’t Dismiss Them

Your partner might have been holding in a couple of things, so when you finally start to hash things out, be careful not to dismiss them. The things they say might sound uncalled for or even far from the truth to you, but let your partner list out their concerns without dismissing their words as just a way to turn up the heat.
Don’t Air Your Dirty Laundry

One of the worst mistakes couples make is picking a fight in a public setting or airing their dirty laundry to mutual friends/family. Even if it happens accidentally (someone walking in on your bickering), try to stay composed and avoid making things worse. This way, when you and your partner finally settle things at home, you’ll both be grateful you’re doing it privately, without any outside intrusion.
Forgive Each Other

We all say things in the heat of the moment and regret them later, but not acting on that regret and refusing to apologize can create more significant gaps. Similarly, not forgiving your partner for something they didn’t mean to do or say can affect progress. It’s best to pick your battles and forgive where possible.
More For You

Watch these stress factors before it’s too late. Every marriage goes through some challenges, but it’s important to recognize them before they escalate further.
This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.