Are You the Problem? 16 Red Flags You Might Be a Bad Sibling

Sibling relationships aren’t easy; you get along one moment, and the next, you’re in a shouting match. But in the end, most siblings come around. If you’re a recent sibling or have been struggling to get along with yours, you’ve only got so long before you drive them away. Here are some signs that indicate you’re having a hard time as a sibling.

You Have a History of Unresolved Conflicts

Conflicts are a natural part of relationships and, in many ways, can help strengthen the bond. However, this bond starts to deteriorate when conflicts remain unresolved for a long time. If you and your sibling have a history of unresolved conflicts, you will both eventually begin to fall apart. This is why it is wiser to sit down and communicate transparently about past conflicts and how to repair the relationship.

You Rarely Communicate

Communication is a two-way street. If you try to talk to your sibling and they’re dismissive, you may feel hesitant and grow frustrated over time. It can also be the other way around. The longer the miscommunication stays, the more your relationship suffers. We recommend getting mutual or individual therapy to figure out healthy ways to communicate with each other.

You Don’t Support Them

As you grow up with your siblings, you share different stages of life with them, so it is natural to expect them to support your goals. But if you don’t keep each other in the loop and have little to no involvement in each other’s lives, you might experience a lack of support. This can lead to isolation and loneliness, which can be tough to bear unless you work on the relationship.

You’ve Become Distant Over Time

Your sibling may have been your best friend growing up, but as you become adults, life has its own plans for you. You might move to a different city or get married and take on new responsibilities. It’s natural to lose touch, but the longer you stay uninvolved in each other’s life, the harder it is to come back to a good relationship. Try to make time for each other, even if it’s for small catchups, to ensure you’re still connected.

You Hide Your True Feelings

If you’re always biting your tongue or avoiding saying how you really feel just to keep the peace with your sibling, that’s a red flag. Real relationships need honest communication. Pretending everything’s okay when it’s not can build up frustration and distance, making things feel less real between you two.

You Don’t Celebrate Their Wins

When your sibling does something great, do you feel happy for them, or do you feel a little off? If it’s more of the second one, it’s a sign something might be off in your relationship. A good sibling bond is about cheering each other on, and not being able to do that can weaken your connection.

You Feel More Like Strangers Than Siblings

It’s easier to stay connected when you grow up in the same house, but many siblings lose their bond when they move away. This usually happens when you don’t make an effort to stay in touch. And when you are not involved in each other’s lives, there is little you can do to avoid being estranged. Your interactions become forced, and you notice that there isn’t much to discuss, leading to awkward silences.

You Avoid Family Gatherings

Family gatherings are all about connecting and making memories. But if you avoid these gatherings altogether to dodge a conversation or simply not be in the same room as your sibling, there is a severe problem. While you may not wish to attend family gatherings, they may help you fix broken ties. Skipping gatherings will only distance you further from your loved ones.

You Compete With Them

All siblings compete with each other, but being aggressive and actively hoping for the other’s failure is a sign you need to work on your bond. While healthy competition can help achieve goals, the moment you start competing to outdo each other and feel threatened by their success, it’s the beginning of the end of the compassion between you.

You Feel Angry Everytime

Siblings are probably the only people in your life who can piss you off in a hundred unique ways but still manage to bring you joy. However, if every interaction with your sibling fills you up with rage, even without apparent reason, unresolved feelings are at play. You may feel angry due to past fights; in such situations, it’s best to work with your sibling and possibly a therapist to help regulate unresolved emotions.

You Hold Grudges

Holding grudges is an excellent way to ruin your relationship with your brother or sister, especially if it’s something you two have previously discussed and cleared up. The longer you hold onto a grudge, the lower your chances of getting along with your sibling. However, learning to look past small things and openly communicate can pave the way for a stronger, more emotionally proactive relationship.

You Don’t Apologize When You’re Wrong

Apologizing isn’t always easy, but holding back on an apology when you’ve hurt your sibling can lead to resentment. Admitting when you’re wrong and trying to make it right shows you care about your relationship. A simple, genuine apology can do wonders to mend hurt feelings and bring you closer.

You are Jealous of Your Siblings

Siblings should share their successes, but if you constantly downplay their achievements, they’re bound to shut you out. Jealousy can stem from various factors, including personal failures or insecurities, but it shouldn’t interfere with your sibling’s happiness. Remember that everyone has their path, and their success doesn’t diminish yours.

You Don’t Share Anything with Them

Poor communication or unresolved conflicts make it difficult to confide in your siblings, especially if they make you feel unwelcome. Not being able to share news signals disconnect and isolation; if left unattended, it will only distance you from each other. Keeping them in the loop might take effort, but it creates a sense of understanding that will help you support each other in tough times.

You Take Them for Granted

Siblings are often our go-to support system, but it’s easy to forget to show appreciation for all they do. If you never thank them or acknowledge their efforts, they might feel overlooked and unimportant. A heartfelt “thank you” or a small act of kindness can go a long way in showing them how much they mean to you and keeping your bond strong.

Your Siblings Don’t Know You

When you don’t communicate or involve yourself in each other’s lives, it becomes pretty easy to become estranged. When that happens, your relationship quickly loses depth. Your siblings fail to know you beyond just a blood relation and have very little knowledge about your likes and dislikes, ultimately seeing you as just a stranger who shares a living space.