Are You the Problem? 16 Habits That Could Be Damaging Your Relationship

Relationships are usually not easy and fragile and need the individual’s full attention and continued effort. It is possible to subconsciously do things that might damage one’s relationship with one’s partner. Love, trust, and mutual respect are solid bases for building relationships; however, people can slowly destroy them through subtle tendencies. Here are some things you can be doing in your relationship that you might not be aware of and how to prevent them.

Silent Treatment

A typical problem is communication in the partners’ relations; one cannot have a meaningful relationship without being able to share your thoughts or feelings. If problems are not solved, they lead to hatred; this would mean that if an issue arises, it would be tough to solve them. Informing your partner what you want or expect makes them comprehend your stand concerning a certain issue, thus creating support and finding solutions. It is likely for your partner to become resentful or not even notice what you want if you do not communicate.

Overlooked Efforts

Ignoring your partner’s actions is very dangerous and disastrous in any relationship and can lead to the relationship’s downfall. If you think less of the things they do or overlook their efforts, this will translate to the communication that they are not valued and will affect the relationship without being aware of it. It is easy to get used to the constant presence of a partner, but in an association, there is another person with you who, in their way, wants to be constantly acknowledged. Appreciate what your partner does for you as much as possible and express gratitude regularly.

Toxic Criticism

Feedback is part of any healthy relationship, but it becomes poisonous when people constantly criticize. If your partner is convinced they cannot do something right or is somehow subpar in any given aspect, they might develop several complaints. Any kind of criticism, if any, should, therefore, not be in a manner that would hamper your partner’s potential; instead of focusing on negative statements, state your concerns and how they can be made positive. Praise them for their good deeds and tell them any improvement they can make without dismissing their efforts.

Self-Neglect

When one disregards physical and emotional needs, the relationship may be impacted in ways one would not anticipate. If you do not care for your physical, emotional, or mental health, you will become a dull, grumpy, and boring partner who will drive your spouse away. Ensuring that you contribute positively to the relationship becomes challenging when this happens. One must have a good work-life balance; taking care of yourself can be done through exercise, relaxation, or any other interest you have, allowing you to be a better partner.

Conflict Evasion

Some people think that to maintain harmony, one should not provoke an argument, but this is not always the best approach. These are matters that, if one gushes them or ignores them, they may build up stress and anger that may cause conflicts in the future. The worst scenario is to try to avoid conflict because this only leads to people not addressing issues and problems. If you avoid such conversations, they will not go away and may spiral out of control and cause more harm.

Tech Intrusion

Today’s society is highly dependent on the use of technology, and it is not uncommon to find it distracting in relationships. Self-regulate technology usage, especially in quality time with the child or family. It is also recommended not to use mobile phones while eating, talking, or being involved in any sort of communication; just leave the phone aside and be involved in what one is doing. The subtle changes in your behavior will serve a great purpose in the relationship, and your partner will feel valued in your presence.

Perfection Trap

If you expect your partner or your relationship to be perfect, then you are sure to disappoint yourself and thus do more harm than good. The latter only means asking for trouble; one has to realize that it is between two people, both human and capable of making mistakes. Accept the imperfections and understand that it is a process of growth and development in a relationship, and it is not a mistake to be imperfect. As important as it is for a couple to enjoy every phase of their lives, they must also know how to endure the difficulties together.

Compare Game

Comparing your relationship with your friends, families, and other couples you may come across on various social media platforms proves to be unhealthy for a relationship. Respect that each couple is different, and each might need something distinct to preserve the bond in a marriage. It is essential that instead of trying to see what you and your partner lack in comparison to other couples, seek the qualities that make both of you special to each other. Learn to respect yourself and your relationship without trying to change the other person based on your self-identity.

Grudge Hold

In relationships, people usually ruminate over something said or done in the past or something that has been done to them. When you bring old problems to new debates, you continue the complaints circle backward. It does not improve on the fact that resentments introduce hatred and erode trust; thus, they cannot fully enjoy the moment. You have to leave behind all the hatred and animosity if you have to lead a happy everyday and healthy life in the future. It is advisable to overlook the wrath and spite one may harbor against the other because it will only affect you.

Emotion Void

If you ignore the feelings, your partner feels left out, unwanted, or lonely. Emotional intimacy involves one way of being able to share with the partner, respond to their feelings, and encourage the partner emotionally. When developing intimacy, agree to talk about specific significant topics for both of you or listen to your partner and assist them. It solidifies your connection and is the foundation for trust and support; without it, the connection gives off the impression of being average at best.

Boundary Blur

Relationships between two humans become vague if they are absent regarding time, personal space, and necessary emotional boundaries. Limits should be defined so that both partners do not infringe on the rights of the other and personal space. You must be able to communicate and respect your partner’s limits; it is helpful in the modeling of a healthy relationship. Also, one must realize that boundaries do not mean that two partners should not interfere but that they need to agree on the nature of the relationship they are willing to have.

Identity Loss

Some issues people face include forgetting who they are, especially in a relationship; there is always a tendency to lose one’s identity. It can be that you are so involved with your partner or the relationship that you lose your individuality, the things you used to do, or the people you used to hang around with. Still, even if one has to invest in the partnership as much as possible, one cannot neglect one’s desires and hobbies. Keeping your identity helps you contribute more to the relations and does not create a situation when one person relies on the other and feels neglected.

Avoiding Vulnerability

While you may think you are doing your relationship well by avoiding vulnerability, in reality, you are only damaging it. When you open up and share your genuine thoughts with your partner, it helps build trust. But, if you don’t talk about what’s on your mind, your partner may feel shut off. Sharing your worries and dropping your guard now and then can strengthen your relationship. It allows for emotional intimacy and lets you work through ups and downs together.

Unrealistic Expectations

Expecting your partner to take care of all your needs or fix every problem can be too much for them to handle. Your happiness shouldn’t depend entirely on them, and relying on them too much can create stress in the relationship. Instead, work on creating a balanced partnership where both of you share responsibilities and support each other. This helps keep things healthy and ensures that neither of you feels overwhelmed or taken for granted.

Lack of Appreciation

When you stop appreciating the small things your partner does, they can start to feel unnoticed or unimportant. Whether it’s a kind word, helping with chores, or doing something thoughtful, acknowledging these moments keeps your relationship healthy. If you ignore these efforts for too long, it can build resentment and make your partner feel taken for granted. Take time to say thank you, express gratitude, and let them know that what they do really matters to you.

Lack of Personal Time

Nobody wants to stick to their partner 24 hours a day or not think beyond them. You or your partner may feel clingy doing that, and there may come a point in life when you don’t have any excitement left. There is no harm in having separate hobbies and interests and pursuing them alone or with your friends. It lets you bring new ideas and energy to your relationship and keeps things healthy and balanced.

Any relationship is a work in progress and demands the owners to be fully aware of themselves and their partners to nurture it. Identifying these behaviors will help you stop doing them unconsciously and thus stop ruining your relationship and instead improve it. These issues will help you and your partner manage conflicts and have a healthy relationship because no relationship is perfect. Whether learning to be grateful, developing emotional closeness, or establishing boundaries, your tiny adjustments can significantly improve your relationship.

This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.