14 Habits of Couples Who Stay in Love for Decades

Many couples think getting married is the endgame, but that’s far from the truth. In reality, marriage is just the beginning of a new life, where you and your spouse go through some of the most brutal battles and unexpected circumstances. Staying in love in spite of all hardships, challenges, and changes is what makes a true marriage, but how do you know you’ve made it? If you tick all these traits, you know you’re on the right track.

Practice Open Communication

Every relationship has its fair share of misunderstandings, but if they aren’t cleared up right away, they’ll cause big rifts. The best way to resolve misunderstandings is through open communication—sit with your partner, discuss what’s bothering you, and ensure both of you give each other enough space and understanding to avoid sudden flare-ups and arguments.

Prioritize Quality Time

No, we’re not joking; couples drift apart over time because work and life engulf them, but it’s up to them to ensure they prioritize spending time with each other. Simply popping into the same bed after spending hours away from each other doesn’t mean you’re spending quality time; ensure you’re setting at least an hour or two daily to talk with your partner, share a hobby, and generally cozy up.

Show Appreciation Daily

Many people think couples don’t need to show appreciation because they already live together and split responsibilities. However, showing appreciation is every couple’s way to success; by being grateful, you help your partner realize their worth, and vice versa. Couples need to appreciate each other’s efforts to foster a healthy relationship.

Share Responsibilities

A marriage is never going to work if one partner pulls everything while the other gets to relax. While you might think you’re splitting responsibilities fairly, it’s important to sit down with your partner and discuss whether the split truly works with them. We also recommend rotating responsibilities like chores so no spouse gets burned out from working too much.

Resolve Conflicts Calmly

It’s easy to lose control of our emotions when tested, but we often lash out and say things we regret. It’s much better to hold your anger and resolve conflicts in a calm and collected manner; it’ll help you recollect your emotions and move to a solution-oriented manner of resolving conflicts instead of hurting each other by losing control.

Bite Tongues

It’s easy to quip a retort or two when living with someone for a while, but this doesn’t mean you must throw a jab whenever something happens. If your partner ever approaches you with something that’s keeping them worried (like losing a job), it’s important to keep your own concerns at bay and listen to them. Allow them to vent and express their frustration; saying things in the heat of the moment will only make them feel like you don’t trust their decisions.

Keep Dating Each Other

More often than not, married couples lose their spark because they no longer make the same efforts to woo each other. This not only causes their intimacy to dwindle but also interferes with their emotional and mental well-being. A couple who keeps dating even after marriage by going on dates, bringing flowers, and making similar romantic gestures is more likely to stay strong and stand the test of time.

Respect Individual Space

We think marriage means you must spend each and every hour of the day together, but that’s not really the case. Married people are still their individual selves, each deserving their privacy and respect. If you expect your partner to ditch their personal commitments and spend every waking minute of their life with you, you’re only setting the marriage up for codependency and failure.

Avoid Keeping Score

A true marriage has no score. Sure, you might internally celebrate a win or two, but that doesn’t mean you turn your marriage into a competition. Spouses who fight for accomplishments like a promotion create a negative, competitive environment that discourages them from being loving and understanding. This prevents them from opening up to each other, and they begin to resent each other instead.

Have Shared Goals

While keeping individual interests alive is essential, having shared goals is equally important. Spouses who work toward shared goals like a mortgage, a car lease, or even children by a certain age are much more understanding of each other. The mutual motivation to reach milestones and achieve goals also encourages them to pursue a healthy and loving relationship, keeping their marriage alive.

Celebrate Small Wins

A big tip to keep your marriage off the rocks is to celebrate small wins no matter the occasion. Whether it’s fulfilling your goal or your partner’s work achievement, celebrating these milestones shows appreciation for each other’s hard work. It also makes you two think more positively and work together as a team through thick and thin.

Practice Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful practice, and the sooner you start exercising it in your marriage, the more peaceful your marriage will become. Forgiveness is not about forgetting their actions or being silent when you’re hurt; it is about addressing the issue objectively, understanding your partner’s perspective, and then forgiving them to move forward together. Couples who master this approach with maturity view mistakes as opportunities for growth instead of fights.

Stay Curious About Each Other

Long-term partners who remain deeply interested in each other’s inner worlds continue to learn, grow, and surprise one another. This means asking thoughtful questions, actively listening without judgment, and genuinely wanting to understand your partner’s evolving thoughts, dreams, and experiences. Curiosity prevents assumptions, keeps communication fresh, and ensures that your relationship remains a dynamic, ever-changing journey of mutual discovery.

Maintain Trust

No marriage will survive without trust. It’s about keeping trust for the sake of your spouse and ensuring you don’t doubt them. If you’re constantly hovering over your partner and doubting their intentions, especially when they’ve given no such indication, you ironically break their trust and tarnish your own place in the relationship. It’s important to honor their trust and expect the same in return.

More For You

Marriage has its own challenges, but it’s essential to figure out what is going wrong. Small problems can turn into big ones if you’re not careful. Here are some stress factors to look out for in your marriage before they worsen.

This article was first published on the RB ITALIA Blog.