Adult Children Who Cut Off Their Parents Often Mention These 12 Common Issues

The ‘Missing Missing Reasons’ is a phenomenon when parents express not knowing why their children have cut them off, but they’re either holding out the truth or are in denial about their problematic behavior. Since most parents realize they’ve been cut off much later on, often when it’s too late, they never see the pattern. So, we’ve rounded up some common behaviors and actions by parents that caused their adult children to cut them off.

Consistent Criticism Of Life Choices

We all want our children to aim high, but in encouraging them to reach for the stars, we also actively begin discouraging them from taking the other route. This means that when they make life choices, we disapprove of them and start criticizing their every move, which fosters negativity and resentment. Constant criticism is one of the most common reasons adult children cut off their parents.

Unresolved Childhood Trauma

It is every parent’s wish to protect their children. But sadly, things don’t always go to plan. Many parents think bringing up traumatic childhood incidents might exacerbate the situation, so they sweep it under the rug. Ironically, this only makes a child feel unwelcome, hurt, or rejected. They begin to push their trauma down until it emerges in childhood, causing them to push their parents away.

Frequent Boundary Violation

One of the biggest misconceptions about parenthood is that parents and children can’t have boundaries. While parents are usually incredibly involved with their children’s lives, they have to cut the cord at some point. However, many parents refuse to do so and end up violating their children’s boundaries, which is often the turning point for young adults.

Favoritism Among Siblings

No parent wants to admit it, but many have a favorite among their children. You might think you’re being subtle, but trust us; children notice when they’re not being treated the same, even if it’s by a small margin. Favoritism encourages competition between siblings and pushes children away from their parents because they can see their parents going all out for one child while holding back on the other.

Failure To Acknowledge Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, but not all acknowledge them. We think acknowledging mistakes makes us look small when it’s actually the opposite. Admitting your wrong also resolves countless arguments before they can brew into something worse. However, refusing to budge and failing to acknowledge your mistakes actively shows you value ego over your child’s happiness. If it becomes a repeated pattern, it might be why your children cut the cord.

Unsolicited Advice On Every Topic

You can’t backseat drive your children’s lives. Sure, parents are supposed to encourage and guide their children, but if you’re offering unsolicited advice on practically every topic without any encouragement, then it’s time you took the hint. Unsolicited advice might seem like guidance to us, but children interpret it as a subtle way of telling them you disagree with how they’re handling things, so they might be tempted to cut you off if it happens frequently.

Emotional Manipulation

Many parents resort to emotional manipulation to straighten out their kids. It might look like these parents are genuinely hurt by their children’s absence or actions, but guilt-tripping their children into saying and doing what they want is an emotional tactic to control them. Emotional manipulation can severely alter a child’s interpretation of normal behavior, making it challenging for them to move on in life.

Disrespecting Spouses Or Partners

You might disagree with your children’s taste in partners, but that doesn’t give you the right to comment on or outright disrespect them. If your children are with someone you think isn’t suitable for them, then it’s a concern you need to address and resolve with a professional. Expressing your frustration and disappointment in your children’s relationships is incredibly disrespectful and is a clear, no-contact move for many adult children.

Forcing Cultural Or Religious Beliefs

Every parent wants to raise their child in the same beliefs and culture they believe in, but this should never be forced. You can encourage a positive environment by teaching your children about your culture or beliefs, but if you’re forcing them to participate in events and culturally significant moments, you’re stripping them of their independence and authority.

Failing To Respect Privacy

Being a good parent isn’t only about teaching your children what’s right and wrong but also about encouraging them to be their own righteous adults. But if you’re always hovering over your kid, barging into their room without permission, and meddling in their affairs, you’re actively disrespecting their privacy and setting an unhealthy dynamic that will push them to cut you off.

Projecting Unfinished Dreams Onto Them

If there’s one thing many children hate, it’s having to do things they don’t like because their parents think it guarantees success. Projecting unfinished dreams onto children starts young; parents often start with childhood activities like soccer or ballet and eventually work their way up to careers. This creates immense pressure to live up to their parent’s expectations and intensely depresses and discourages children if they fail.

Constantly Bringing Up The Past

Lastly, if you bring up the past every time your adult kid is over, you’re creating an unwelcoming environment for them. You might think it’s all just for gags, but constantly being reminded of embarrassing things or mistakes your children made in their childhood is humiliating. It implies you don’t think they’re responsible adults and are actively disappointed with their lives.

More For You

There are some things in life our parents didn’t teach us, either because they didn’t know or didn’t think we needed them. These lessons can make a big difference as we grow. Here are some important ones you might have missed!

This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.