How To Work With Someone Who Creates Unnecessary Conflict

Working with someone who tends to spin everything into a conflict is like walking on eggshells. If you’re tired of watching your every step at work with them, here are a few tips to deal with a bothersome colleague:

Step Back

Sometimes, the best way to deal with things is not to deal with them. Once a conflict arises, step back to assess the situation and cool down. Once you’ve grasped what’s happening, you can decide on the best course of action.

Don’t Confront

Occasionally, directly calling out a trouble-making colleague at the moment can make things worse because words can pick an accusatory tone. It’s essential to let the situation settle down independently and then approach it with a calmer mindset.

Don’t Take It Personally

A person’s conflict-creating attitude speaks volumes about their behavior, not yours. Don’t let their actions affect your work performance and attitude; let them continue doing what they are, and distance yourself so your work ethic won’t be questioned later.

Focus On Solutions

Dwelling on the problems will only prevent you from coming up with solutions. Don’t beat around the bush; tackle every situation to devise a great solution and adopt a proactive approach to avoid escalating things.

Don’t Gossip

Airing out a colleague’s dirty laundry will only put you in a bad light. A colleague’s habits may derive from a personal problem, so unnecessarily stirring the pot with mindless gossip may worsen things and backfire on you.

Set Your Limits

Don’t hesitate to speak up about the things you will and won’t bear. Stay polite and respectful, but don’t tolerate unacceptable behavior and set down clear boundaries. This isn’t only about maintaining peace with them, but yourself.

Seek Neutral Ground

It’s possible to butt heads with a colleague and still work effectively and peacefully. This will only be doable if you sit in a neutral spot, set aside your biases, and work toward a safer common ground.

Use ‘I’ Instead Of ‘You’

Using ‘you’ during communication creates the impression that you’re shifting the blame on your colleague. Even when they’re at fault, it’s important to use ‘I’ so you focus on your behavior. This way, you’ll be able to handle things without casting blame.

Listen To Them

The colleague may be acting out because they feel misunderstood. A great way to deal with this is by setting your differences aside and lending them an ear. You might pick up on things they or others aren’t seeing and help them reverse conflict-creating behavior.

Practice Self-care

Working with someone who makes you feel nervous or frustrates you daily can be nerve-wracking and drain your mental and physical health. Ensure you take time for self-care to release negative energy and unnecessary pressure.

Educate Yourself On Conflict Management

Learning effective conflict management techniques will help you better engage with your colleagues. To settle disputes more effectively, consult online resources, browse books, take workshops, and even take online courses.

Talk To Your Manager

Your last step should be bringing in the big guns if nothing else works. Discuss the behavior with your manager so they know what’s affecting your performance and can deal with the colleague immediately.