15 Warning Signs Your Date Is Just Not Right for You
Nevertheless, dating is full of passions and can be a subject of several doubts. In dating, we all yearn to meet an honest, kind, and compatible person, but that doesn’t imply that every person we come across is always a compatible mate. Worse still, some dates may have signs of something being wrong, making a relationship toxic or unhealthy in the future.
Service Rudeness
A person’s attitude towards service staff says volumes about them; if your date is nasty, insulting, or even discourteous to bartenders or any other service providers, it means that they are an entitled person with no empathy. Cruelty to others means that the same inconsiderate behavior is taken home and sometimes inflicted on a loved one. Even though it may seem petty, such actions show how they would handle you when they are not pleased, which won’t always be pleasing.
Ex-Bashing
If your date spends half of the time talking about their ex in a bad light, then you can be sure they are still stuck in their past. This could mean they are still bitter, angry, or even immature to accept blame for a breakup even when constantly just talking poorly about an ex. Sane people can recognize that there was never a past relationship without having grudges; they may never be ready for a new one if they are still preoccupied with the past relationship.
Evasive Answers
If a person frequently avoids speaking about his life, career, family, or background, it should be remembered as a new flag. Though it is unremarkable to avoid deep diving into every aspect on the first date, a reasonable degree of openness about one’s life is conducive to trust development. If your date avoids touching upon some issues, if they give rather vague answers, or if the conversation suddenly shifts from one topic to another as soon as the question about some details is asked, then it is somewhat likely that your date has a lack of openness and transparency. A person who has none of these qualities may not be trustworthy.
Chronic Negativity
It is draining to be around negative energy, and a date who complains about everything, their work, the weather, is a big no-no. Chronic negativity appears to resist positivity in life aspects and may create a toxic relationship element. Positive attitude and thinking are significant aspects that enable partners to stand together during adversity. If your date only negatively views everything, this might mean that they are psychologically ill-equipped to build a healthy partnership.
Over-Drinking
Showing up intoxicated or getting drunk during a first date is a clear indication that a partner lacks self-control or has terrible coping mechanisms. While it would still be okay if one takes a couple of shots to have at a usual, it would be awful if one gets extremely drunk or relies on alcohol to make the date go smoothly. Alcohol-related behavior is generally associated with some significant problems, such as affective dyscontrol, aggression, or irresponsibility. If your date gets drunk much quicker than you do, you should be aware that this person cannot find a healthy balance in their life.
Pressure Tactics
Another clear sign is when a person tries to force you into doing something you don’t like or accept, such as pushing a move faster in a relationship, intimating to have an ex, or even pressuring you into participating in certain activities. Healthy relationships do not overstep the boundaries or intrude on the other person’s comfort zone. If a person constantly pressures you, that person does not respect your ability to make your own decisions, which may lead to controlling behavior. If you experience signals like being uncomfortable or feel pressured into a relationship before you are ready, then it is high time to stop.
Self-Absorbed
Such a date avoids asking questions, makes you listen to them for hours, or even continuously expects you to pay for everything; it would be best to let go of one-sided, self-centered behavior. A suitable date is when two people talk and communicate with each other, taking an equal turn in speaking. A person who only speaks about himself wants to be celebrated rather than attempting to create a meaningful interaction. In due course, such an attitude might result in a relationship whereby your needs and emotions are not considered.
Boundary Ignoring
A relationship cannot work well if no boundaries are set and respected by individuals in that relationship. There are no two ways about it if your date crosses your boundaries in any way: by getting physical with you, forcing you into intimacy, or not paying any attention to your restrictions. It means that this person is a total red flag. These can result in a relationship that may not be healthy for you, such that you may feel promptly uncomfortable, disrespected, or even in danger.
Control Issues
One of the most significant warning signs that a person should never let go is controlling behavior. If your date starts complaining that you are jealous and tries to control what you wear, where you go, or whom you talk to, you are being with a control freak. While dealing with such individuals, they mask their true intentions as being helpful, caring, or concerned about their well-being. However, the harassment often degrades to emotional or even physical signs of abuse. A healthy relationship means that both people are independent and trust each other’s choices without attempting to dominate each other.
Extreme Jealousy
It is expected to feel a bit jealous, but high-level jealousy is dangerous; it is a more evident sign that jealous traits are already present. If your date is already frequently questioning who you are texting or even getting angry if you mention spending time with friends, it may range from overly protective and possessive to controlling behavior, often arising from insecurity and lack of trust. Love involves trust, and if somebody is very jealous, they will never be able to trust you.
Lacks Empathy
Empathy in a relationship is critical to its success; if you tell your date how you feel, something that happened to you, or some problems you have, and the date appears uninterested or dismissive, you may be dealing with a person who is low in empathy. A person who does not have empathy cannot comfort you when you need someone to console you, which may make you feel lonely and misunderstood. Listening to your partner is crucial to a good relationship because the partner must know they are being understood during the bad times.
Anger Problems
It is dangerous if your date rages a lot or you easily get angered. Usually, angry people self-destruct in relationships; it may be in the form of verbal abuse, physical violence, or emotional abuse. Ideally, being on a date, temperamental behavior indicates that the person is likely to misbehave if a disagreement arises. Rage issues do not improve with time, and it is very unhealthy to be with someone who cannot deal with their anger appropriately for fear of hurting you emotionally and physically.
Bragging Too Much
If your date keeps going on and on about their accomplishments, money, or status, it can start to feel a bit arrogant. Being confident is one thing, but when it turns into bragging, it seems like they care more about impressing you than getting to know you. A great date should be about sharing stories and finding things you both enjoy, not just showing off. If they’re focused on their own success the whole time, it might be a sign that they’re more into themselves than building a real connection.
Obsession with Appearance
While caring about your appearance is a good thing, being obsessed with it is not. An extreme obsession with looks indicates a need for validation. So, if your date seems to be more invested in how they look rather than in meaningful conversation, it’s a red flag. A healthy relationship thrives when both partners invest time in understanding each other through authentic interactions and not seeking constant validation.
Frequent Interruptions
Besides an indicator of a lack of respect, frequent interactions also show that they have poor listening skills. Effective communication is a foundation on which the relationship is built and if you are unable to speak your thoughts without being interrupted, it’s a big no-no. If your date can’t do as little as pause to let you finish your speech, it shows that they don’t prioritize your opinions or emotions.
Dating is meant to be a process where people feel appreciated, and all the actions conducted during this process are safe. Learning these signs will let you avoid toxic people and shield you from heartache. From being rude to the service providers, overly jealous, or not respecting people’s space, these signs are not good enough to be overlooked. Follow what your intuition tells you and choose the former if you want to go out with someone worthwhile. It is more appropriate to leave early than to continue a relationship that may take a toll on mental or emotional health.
This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.
