20 Smart Ways to Navigate Conversations with Stubborn Older Parents
Sometimes, communication with older generations can reach a standstill. This may be because of stubborn attitudes or stepping into the golden years. Either way, we struggle to communicate with our elderly, and this can sometimes impact our relationship with them. Here are some easy tips to help you communicate better with the older people in your life and build a stronger bond.
Accept the change

You won’t be able to communicate unless you accept your elderly relatives for who they are. This doesn’t mean you condone unacceptable behaviors; it simply means realizing they may not be capable of changing themselves to whom you’d prefer. Accepting the change will improve your bonding with them.
Listen attentively

Don’t just lend an ear; be attentive to their needs and wants. People can always tell when they don’t have someone’s full attention. Most older people need someone who will understand what they’re saying and be interested in the conversation. Sometimes, all they want is someone who can listen to them.
Set boundaries

The healthiest way to improve communication is for both parties to set boundaries. This will ensure both you and your older relatives stay in line and encourage them to maintain healthy contact. Let your elderly know you won’t accept or contribute to any type of conflict.
Empathize

Handling pain and health issues becomes a struggle as you age. Your elderly relatives may not be able to bear the pain anymore, so they may lash out frequently. Try to be patient and empathize with their situation. Old people are like kids, and we should treat them like that, especially when they are bedridden.
Understand perspectives

Try to understand why your elderly relatives may engage in behaviors or conversations you don’t appreciate. Understanding their perspectives can clear negative emotions that may have fostered miscommunications. Sometimes, they don’t even realize their behavior, which may stem from a medical condition.
Give Them Respect

Respect is all about treating your elderly with care and kindness. Listen to them with patience, appreciate their life and experiences, and be gentle with your words. It doesn’t only show that you care for them but also strengthen your relationship. All you need to have is patience, and everything will follow.
Be concise

Older people can get confused and may need to remember parts of a conversation, which leads to inaccurate perceptions of events. Try to convey your words concisely and clearly so your elderly loved ones won’t misinterpret them. Also, if possible, ask them if they understood the conversation.
Find a common ground

You might be struggling to bond and communicate because of clashing interests. Try to learn about their interests and hobbies and embrace them. You can even suggest learning something new for a fresh start. Doing something that interests them won’t only strengthen your bond with them but also make them happy.
Skip difficult topics

Don’t turn the conversations into topics you know may cause conflicts or stress. Focus on healthier, positive, or newer topics to engage in. Write a list of acceptable questions, issues, and even safe words to avoid a conversation heading for disaster. A positive conversation is healthier for their mind compared to discussing only conflicts.
Use Simple Language

Talk in a clear and straightforward way. Skip the jargon and keep your sentences simple. This makes it easier for them to understand you. Clear communication helps avoid confusion and frustration for both of you. It also makes conversations more enjoyable and meaningful.
Cut the call

Don’t just rely on calls. Most elderly folks would appreciate it if they get to hang out with younger loved ones. Take them to parks and museums or spend a few hours with them to show your presence and support. Most elderly people are not tech-savvy and prefer real-time communication over calls.
Compromise

You may disagree with their decisions and thoughts, but you can always compromise to meet in the middle. Reduce mental workload and set realistic goals so you and your relatives can communicate effectively. Don’t let anything lead to aggressive behaviors from both sides.
Find the cues

Every conversation with older adults holds details about their needs and worries. You’ll be able to spot inconsistencies, concerns, fears, and even emotional needs if you focus enough. These cues will help you figure out how to communicate with your older loved ones.
Encourage them to share

Ask them politely to share their experiences, thoughts, and feelings. It shows you value them and their life experiences and lessons, encouraging a deeper connection. Additionally, you’ll get to learn a lot of valuable things from them about their past, struggles, and how they survived life.
Adjust your tone

If they have difficulty in hearing or understanding, speak louder but without shouting. Ensure your voice is clear yet calm. Maintain a level of your volume that is comfortable for them to hear. It should not feel to them that you’re angry and shouting, as it can make them fearful of you.
Positive Body Language

Positive body language can really make a difference when you’re talking with older adults. Simple actions like nodding along, keeping your arms open instead of crossed, and smiling genuinely show that you’re engaged and care about your conversation with them.
Be Careful with How You React

It’s normal to feel frustrated or surprised by what your elderly relatives might say, but snapping at them can create unnecessary tension. Even if you disagree, try to stay calm and understanding. Responding gently helps keep things peaceful and strengthens the trust between you.
Respect Their Independence

Encourage your elderly loved ones to share their thoughts and make their own choices. Listen closely and show real interest in what they have to say without cutting them off. Let them do what they can on their own, and avoid talking down to them. This respect for their independence helps keep their dignity and self-esteem intact.
Be Present

Give your elderly loved ones your full attention. Put away your phone and other distractions to show you’re really listening. Sit facing them and use body language that shows you’re engaged. This makes them feel valued and heard and helps strengthen your bond.
Include Them in Decisions

Whenever you can, make sure your elderly loved ones are part of family decisions. Whether it’s planning a get-together or talking about their care, letting them have a say shows that you value their input. It also makes them feel their opinions and decisions still matter to the family.
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This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.