15 Red Flags on a First Date That Are Instant Deal-Breakers

Going on a first date brings all the nerves and emotions one can imagine. Naturally, you want to have the perfect first date, but it doesn’t always go to plan. Your date might exhibit certain behaviors that put you off. While you could let it go, their actions might be a sign of who they truly are. Let’s discuss these turn-offs you should avoid on your first date if you want to take it forward.

Arriving Late

Showing up late is a classy turn-off, and it is one of the most common signs that they don’t really care about you. It’s one thing to be tardy, but it’s another to make your date wait with no follow-up and not even have a valid reason to run late. If your date’s decent, they’ll at least let you know they’re running late; otherwise, they’re just inconsiderate.

Using The Phone Too Much

While it’s silly to expect someone to completely abandon their phones nowadays, it’s not crazy to expect them to pay more attention to you. The whole purpose of a date is to get to know each other; if your date spends time constantly scrolling on their phone, responding to friends’ texts and other activities, they’re showing they’re not really interested in you.

Hijacking The Conversation

One of the most infuriating experiences is going on a date with someone who hijacks your words mid-conversation and doesn’t let you get a word in. It might be their way of sharing things about themselves, but if they’re constantly steering the conversation away from you, they’re simply trying to control it and won’t let you contribute, no matter what.

Talking About Their Exes

Let’s talk about one of the biggest icks of a first date: talking about their exes. It’s not unusual to discuss past dating experiences, especially if you want to give a basic overview of your dating life, but if they’re talking too much about their ex and revealing intimate details, it’s time to awkwardly ask for the check and make a run for it because they’re still clearly pining over their former partner.

Debating Over Everything

Here’s the thing: you might not agree with everything your date says. But the polite thing to do on a date is to let each other talk, and if you’re still not feeling it, let them know you won’t be meeting after you get home. But if your partner is debating over everything, arguing every possible likes and dislikes you share, it’s time to make a dash for it. This is because such people will never be on the same page as you.

Being Overly Touchy

While we’d all like our first date to evolve into a potential relationship, it still has some boundaries in place. If your date is being a little too handsy, trying to feel you up, or even minute actions like caressing your hand or touching your thigh, they’re pushing the limits. It’s especially worse if you’re visibly uncomfortable and they continue; remember, consent is still needed, even for basic hand-holding.

Expecting Intimacy

The biggest ick while on a first date is your partner expecting intimacy on that very day. While there’s no shame in indulging in such activity, it requires mutual consent. If your partner’s pushing the idea, constantly trying to steer the conversation toward intimacy and pressuring you into considering it, they’re not someone you want to be with at all.

Complaining About Everything

Your first date might not go perfectly; crazy things happen, but how they overcome such issues tells you a lot about them. If your date spends most of the time complaining about menial things (the traffic, the service, the food quality, etc.) to the point it’s actively hijacking the date, it’s time to reconsider this person as a potential partner.

Splitting/Not Splitting The Bill

Traditional etiquette usually requires the man to pill the entirety of the bill. But this doesn’t mean you have to abide by it, especially if the date isn’t going well. If you and your date discussed payment options prior to sitting down, but your date refuses to cater to the agreed idea, they’re showing you they can’t be trusted with decisions and are being selfish.

Being A Bad Listener

It’s incredibly frustrating to put yourself out there and meet up with someone you think you could build a life with, only for them to not even pay attention to what you’re saying. A first date is about breaking the ice and easing your way into a conversation to get to know them, but if they’re zoning out, not responding to your words, and not listening, you know they’re not the one for you.

Hyper Fixating On The Future

We romanticize finding a partner who sees eye to eye and eventually settles down. Still, there’s a pace to everything if your date jumps into the idea of marriage, moving in, getting pets, or carrying children. Other serious responsibilities can throw you out of your comfort zone and make the entire situation awkward. It can be pretty intimidating and makes them look desperate, too.

Drinking Too Much

A drink or two can be a nice way to calm those first-date jitters, but when someone overdoes it, it can send the wrong signal. If your date is drinking a lot, it might feel like they’re not fully in control or that they’re not respecting the time you’re spending together. It can make things uncomfortable and leave you wondering if they’re actually there to connect with you.

Being Overly Negative

We all have off days, but if your date is constantly negative, it can really drain the vibe. Nonstop complaining or making downbeat comments about everything can make it tough to enjoy the date. A little positivity goes a long way, and if they can’t find anything good to say, it might mean they’re not in the best place for a happy, healthy relationship.

Being Rude To Waiters

How a person treats service workers defines their personality. If they’re rude to wait staff and expect exceptional service while berating them, it means they’re not the ideal person they might think they are. Being rude to waiters isn’t only a form of disrespect but conveys their true personality in public; imagine how it’d be in private?

Bragging Nonstop

Confidence is always a good thing, but if your date spends the entire evening talking about their job, their car, or their accomplishments, it can get annoying pretty fast. It makes them seem more focused on themselves than on learning anything about you. A good conversation is supposed to go both ways, where you both get a chance to share and listen. If they’re too busy trying to impress you and never ask about your interests or thoughts, that’s a red flag.

More For You

Working on a new relationship can be challenging, and it may not turn out as you expected. However, if you set realistic expectations, give each other enough time to understand, and communicate honestly, you’re off to a good start. Also, if you want to spend time together and get to know each other, consider traveling to a place you both love. It can be anything from a hike to camping to a cruise and more.

This article was first published on the RB ITALIA Blog.