16 Outdated Stigmas About Divorce We Should Stop Believing

Divorce still carries a lot of outdated stigmas that just don’t make sense anymore. These outdated beliefs can make it harder for people to leave a relationship that’s hurting their mental health and overall well-being. Letting go of these ideas can help people see divorce in a more positive way and make healthier choices. It’s time to look at these old views and understand why they don’t work anymore. Here are some common but outdated ideas about divorce that need to change.

Divorce Is A Failure

Let’s admit it: society sees divorcees as failures. Being divorced makes you feel like you failed a test. Marriage is seen as the ultimate success or goal in a long-term relationship, so those who get divorced are seen as failures. But getting a divorce is just a fair way to end a relationship that isn’t beneficial or healthy.

Children Suffer After Divorce

Many couples refuse/are afraid to divorce because they think their children will suffer from their decision. While children tend to take divorces hard, with suitable methods and tools like therapy, they can adjust. Staying in a marriage that brings out the worst of you will harm your child more than a divorce.

Single Parents Aren’t Good Enough

If a person finally decides to get a divorce, society guilt-trips and emotionally manipulates them by raising concerns about their abilities as a single parent. Single parents are considered less capable than those in a successful marriage. But you can raise happy, well-adjusted children even if you’re doing it alone; staying in a loveless/harmful marriage will only encourage your children to do the same.

Divorced Women Are Undesirable

While society generally pays better to divorced men, divorced women are subjected to harsher realities. People tend to think a divorced woman has lost her place in society; they’ll chastise a woman for being divorced and try to convince her that she isn’t enough. Of course, plenty of fish are in the sea, and some are divorced, too!

Divorce Creates A Bad Reputation

A divorcee isn’t the only one subjected to shame and disdain; sometimes, their family is too. This usually happens in people with a close-knit social circle; they expect people to treat them differently if divorced, so they’re scared to do it. Sometimes, the family will even pressure a person in an unhappy marriage to stay because they’re afraid of getting a bad reputation.

Divorced People Can’t Be Happy

It takes a while to adjust to life after getting divorced, but in no way does it mean you’ll never change. People think a divorced person can’t be happy; they have too many responsibilities or aren’t in the right headspace to connect with others to stay happy. However, divorcees are still people, and most are happier outside the marriage.

Blended Families Don’t Work

If you’re a divorcee and are planning on marrying someone with kids, you’ll struggle with adjusting because almost everyone will try to convince you that blended families don’t work. While blended families come with some unique challenges, with the right frequency and tools for adjustments (like family therapy), they can be loving.

Divorce Is A Sin

Many religions and cultures view divorce as a sin and will treat divorcees the same way. But while some religions may have specific views on divorce, getting one does not mean the end of the world. Divorcing won’t land you eternal damnation, especially when warranted. Living in a marriage that doesn’t work is far worse.

Divorcees Are Lousy Role Models

Society tends to believe that anyone who gets a divorce is setting a bad example for the kids. But that’s not true; staying in a crumbling marriage is a far worse lesson to teach the kids. Discussing divorce and subsequent changes with children teaches them that sometimes things don’t work out, and it’s okay to step out in such circumstances.

Divorce Makes You Weak

This isn’t just a social stigma; it’s also a fear of many people who are thinking of getting a divorce. These people are afraid to get a divorce because they don’t want to be seen as weak or believe they won’t be able to handle it all. But once you finish the divorce, you realize you were strong all along.

There’s Always A “Guilty Party” In A Divorce

If you and your ex-spouse divorced amicably, you’d always meet nosy people questioning whose fault the divorce was. Many divorces involve a guilty party, but not all do. Sometimes, things and circumstances don’t work out, so spouses divorce, even if neither of them did anything wrong.

Divorcees Are Selfish

Divorce used to be seen as a selfish act, especially when kids were involved. Today, we understand that prioritizing your mental and emotional health benefits everyone in the long run. Taking care of yourself sets a positive example for your children and helps create a healthier environment for everyone.

Divorce Is Always Mutual

People often think that divorce is a mutual decision, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes, one partner is more ready to move on than the other, which can bring up feelings of guilt, resentment, or confusion. Realizing that divorce isn’t always a two-way decision helps us better understand the complexities of relationships and makes it easier to move past the stigma.

Divorce Should Be Avoided At All Costs

The old idea that divorce should be avoided no matter what has changed. Nowadays, people recognize that ending an unhealthy relationship can significantly improve mental health and overall well-being. Sometimes, the best choice for everyone involved is to move on and find happiness elsewhere.

Divorce Is The End Of Love

People often think that by going through with divorce, they are permanently closing the doors for any meaningful relationships in the future. But that is not the case. Divorce is not the end of love; instead, it is a fresh new beginning to lead healthier and more fulfilling relationships with you now knowing better.

There’s No Life After Divorce

People think getting divorced means letting go of significant things in life, but marriage often prevents or delays you from learning more valuable things. Divorce gives you all the time; you learn new things and experience a fresh beginning, so you’ll eventually move on to a healthier, more thriving life.