15 Things You’re Saying That Are Making You Look Less Confident
How we present ourselves to the world is very dependent on communication. You may feel confident, but some phrases you use might throw it off, becoming insecure or overly unsure. You don’t realize it, but the words and expressions you use every day can subtly erode the confidence others have in you. Here are some common phrases that can make you sound less confident than you are, along with suggestions on replacing them with stronger, more assertive language.
“I’m Not Really Sure, But…”
This phrase indicates you’re stalling or beginning your sentence and are unsure what you will say; before you even present your thoughts, it upends your credibility. After all, if you had to be honest, it would be better to say, “This is what I think,” or even, “In my view, at least, that’s the solution.” That will create a more confident impression on your audience by being comfortable with what you know you will share.
“I Think…”
Although they are tiny phrases, to begin with, “I think” statements minimize the weight of your words. If you’re well informed, it gives your message a less authoritative and weaker voice. Instead, just post what you think. For example, “This approach will work because…” or “We need to follow this strategy.” The fewer qualifiers you have, such as I think, the more assertive your speech becomes and eliminates doubt about your position.
“I Hope That Makes Sense…”
A statement with “I hope” that makes sense can make your statement sound like you weren’t sure the explanation made sense to you. It means you are questioning your ability to communicate. Instead of weakening your message, try something like: “Let me know if there’s anything you need clarification on or are unsure.” By doing so, you trust your ability to explain your point and leave yourself open to questions or further discussion after the initial delivery.
“I’m Sorry, But…”
Not only can over-apologizing leave you looking insecure, but you’re also not likely to need to say it in the first place; when you say, “I’m sorry,” it suggests you feel you’re being intrusive or wrong. Instead of starting with an apology, intentionally start your thoughts without it, and it can make your statement sound much more confident. If you would assert your point, you can do so by simply saying, “Here’s my perspective” or “Some more on this.” These alternatives show you aren’t afraid to speak up, and your contributions matter.
“I’ll Try…”
It’s not practical to say “I’ll try” instead of “I will,” which will make your statement seem less committed; putting it in this way implies hesitance. You don’t want to use them but instead use “I can” or “I will” to say you are more specific and capable. In saying so, you are making a statement about your ability to complete; with “I’ll try,” you are creating doubt in other people’s minds that you will. The confidence you have in your actions should carry through your words.
“Maybe We Should…”
When you introduce ideas with “maybe,” you weaken your suggestion; it makes you sound unsure and unwilling to believe what you are saying firmly. Instead, use “We should” or “Let’s try” to give a more confident feeling about your idea. You generate more confidence in others, especially if you end hesitation and prove your commitment to your ideas. People will trust your intent and follow your lead if you communicate unambiguously instead of unassertively.
“It’s Just My Opinion…”
Saying, “It’s just my opinion,” makes you sound like you’re not just giving an opinion but downplaying it before presenting it. This phrase tells people you don’t think your opinion has much worth, which is not the impression you’d like to give others. This replaces “Here’s my opinion” or “From my perspective” — because your voice matters. Everyone deserves an opinion, and language that provides meaning to your contributions will draw others to your words. You don’t want to devalue the power of your input by saying it’s ‘just’ your opinion.
“Does That Sound Okay?”
If you ask after you propose something— “Does that sound okay?”— it feels like you are asking for permission instead of standing confidently behind your suggestion. Instead of weakening your statement, a more assertive phrase can be “Let me know your thoughts” or “What do you think about this?” This keeps you confident with what you’re offering and allows you to encourage dialogue. Getting feedback immediately without being told your ideas are wrong will make you seem brave and collaborative.
“I Don’t Know Much About This…”
If you say, “I don’t know much about this,…” you’ve already diminished my credibility. If you are learning about a subject, you can frame it positively. Sometimes, you can say, ‘I’ve learned so far; here’s what I know’ or ‘While I’m seeing this new, here’s what I’m seeing now.’ By expressing your knowledge positively, you are expressing to them that you understand what you know and are actively engaged in what you know. There is no reason to apologize for underplaying your contribution because everyone is always learning.
“I’m Probably Wrong…”
Saying “I’m probably wrong” right away primes the listener to jump to conclusions about whatever you’re about to talk about. Regardless of your appearance, you don’t need to do yourself self-sabotage — pretending your ideas are wrong. Say, “Here is my thought” and “I think this may work,” which invites discussion but doesn’t curtail you right at the get-go. Once you own your thoughts, even if they evolve, you have confidence in communication.
“Does That Make Any Sense?”
Putting it as “Does that make any sense?” implies you don’t think you presented things enough. Instead, say, “If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to let me know,” or “If you don’t understand something, don’t hesitate to ask for clarification.” Rather than focusing on how you can convince people if you don’t even believe a word you say, shift the focus to inviting a conversation, allowing people to speak while staying assured of what you’ve already said. It’s about communicating so you don’t seed doubt in your communication.
“It’s Probably Nothing…”
Whenever you use this phrase, you instantly reduce the weight of whatever you’re about to put out there. If the information is good, how you present it tells others that they shouldn’t take it seriously. Instead, trust your judgment and stand tall, explaining your thoughts that you haven’t heard yet. Knowledge and skills aren’t what builds trust; it’s how we communicate it.
“Let Me Know If This Works for You”
When you say, “Let me know if this works for you,” in the office, it sounds more like you are seeking approval rather than asking a question or providing a solution. You might want to avoid this because it makes you sound uncertain and unconfident. However, by saying, “This is the approach I recommend,” instead, you come across as confident because the statement not only signals decisiveness but also demonstrates trust in your judgment.
“I’m Not an Expert, But…”
Saying, “I’m not an expert, but…” downplays your credibility before you even finish the sentence. It shows that you are not educated about the knowledge you share, and chances are that people won’t take you seriously, even if you make sense. This is why instead of saying this phrase, consider saying something like “Here’s what I know” or “This is my insight.” to sound more confident.
“I Guess…”
Another phrase you should avoid speaking is “I guess…”. As you can tell, it is not a very effective way to get the message across. Saying this phrase implies a lack of conviction, and even if you are certain about what you are saying, it will have very little effect on your audience. Instead, say “I believe” or “In my experience.” It sounds more affirming and eliminates ambiguity from your words.
Small changes in speaking can significantly impact how you communicate with others; your confidence in others depends on what language you use. Although you probably feel secure in what you know or can do, phrases that indicate you are uncertain or skeptical about something seem to undermine your confidence in front of others. Recognizing and replacing these common expressions with more robust language helps you communicate more effectively and show confidence.
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Do you feel like your boss is watching your every move? Micromanaging can make work stressful and drain your confidence. Knowing the warning signs can help you handle the situation better.
This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.
