14 Ways to Navigate Family Tensions and Keep Christmas Dinner Enjoyable

Every holiday comes with stress, but nothing beats bending over backward for your family during Christmas. And where there’s thanks, there’s also plenty to complain about, making this holiday one of the most chaotic and stressful days for hosts. If your heart is set on hosting but you don’t want the dinner to end in chaos, we’ve got some tips to navigate things.

Start with a Warm Welcome

Make sure everyone feels good the moment they arrive by greeting them warmly. Flash a big smile, say something like “I’m so happy you’re here!” and, if it feels natural, give a quick hug. These little things can instantly make people feel comfortable and set a friendly tone for the evening.

Set A Time For Controversial Topics

Let’s face it: No matter how much you try to steer conversations and avoid specific topics, some relatives and friends are still going to end up talking about it. Since it might be impossible to avoid those topics altogether, why not set a time? You can ask friends, family members, and other attendees to keep controversial issues like politics and religion to themselves until the kids are asleep and the dinner is done.

Delegate Tasks

We assume nobody wants to work over the holidays, but if you’ve got a couple of cranky family members, one way to quieten them is by giving them chores. We know it sounds weird, but many people get upset when they aren’t involved in the planning or execution of big holiday dinners. Asking them to spin the salad, set up the table, or assist with other chores might make things easier for you and them.

Bring A Buffer Activity

We’re all familiar with the dread of realizing everything’s going to hit the fan. You may not have been able to prevent family fallingouts at previous gatherings, but we’ve figured out the best way to curb the chaos: get a buffer. Pick an activity that you’re sure will be loved by everyone or is distracting enough to pull everyone away from each other at the last second.

Limit Booze

As much as some of us love relaxing with a glass of wine, we recommend locking the liquor around lightweight guests. If you’re not too keen on the idea of having a dry gathering, you could also limit the quantity of alcohol served. It’s best if you let guests know beforehand so they won’t complain about not being served. The lesser the intake, the lesser the chances of random outbursts.

Create A Quiet Space

Speaking of outbursts, we’ve all wanted to escape into quiet oblivion when things get too rowdy. You could introduce a space in your house designated solely for people who want to stay away from the noise. This could be the garage, a guestroom, or even the attic; as long as you designate a space where people can relax, you’ll have a happy party.

Practice Conversations

You can plan everything to a T, but when that one topic starts, you’ll have no choice but to redirect the conversation. Since you won’t be able to predict what’s going to come your way, why not practice it? Ask your spouse, roommate, or a close friend to ask you the most randomly controversial and unexpected questions; you’ll learn how to steer away from awkward conversations.

Plan The Seating

Speaking of awkwardness, nothing gets a party quieter than being seated with someone you don’t like. If you’ve got guests who don’t get along, try creating a seating plan that’ll work for everyone. You can unite guests by preferences and similar beliefs, place a buffer (neutral person) in between them, and then seat the rest. This way, you won’t have to worry about managing conversations.

Serve Safe Food

We’ve all planned the perfect dinner, but if you’re missing diet-friendly dishes, you’ll set a bad impression and upset your guests. While we don’t recommend changing your menu altogether, reach out to your guests and communicate the menu so they know what’s being served. Offer alternatives if you’ve got guests with dietary restrictions and set an open-table rule in case they want to bring their own.

Limit Tech

Nothing ticks off people more than seeing others spend meaningless hours on their devices when they could be reconnecting with family instead. It might get a couple of groans out of teens and even some older family members, but set a ‘No Phone’ rule so you know your guests aren’t getting distracted and are being as attentive and involved as they can.

Discuss Boundaries

It’s never too late to set boundaries, especially when a big celebration is coming up. Talk to your spouse and kids about setting personal boundaries; once you’ve got a clear idea of the dos and Don’ts, communicate them to your guests so they know breaking boundaries won’t be accepted. It’ll be hard, but you’ll love the outcome.

Involve The Kids

While kids are certainly supposed to lay back and relax, it’s best to involve them in important decisions and age-appropriate conversations. Shutting them out not only hurts their feelings but also makes them reclusive. On the other hand, openly talking to them about healthy boundaries and involving them where possible boosts confidence and helps them bond better.

Avoid Personal Questions

Never ask a guest a question you won’t like being asked. Avoid uncomfortable topics like past relationships, marriage, children, religion, and political beliefs because you never know what someone is going through or if they’re even comfortable sharing it. Stick to general get-to-knows, and you’ll have a smooth dinner.

Plan a Group Photo

Before the evening wraps up, get everyone together for a group photo. It’s a fun and easy way to create a memory of the night that you can all look back on. People love having pictures to remember special moments, and it’s also a great way to end the evening on a happy note. Also, it brings everyone together for one last shared activity.