14 Things Best Left Unspoken For a Healthy Marriage
A thriving marriage is healthy through effective communication, mutual respect, and shared understanding. When nurtured, such elements help couples lay the foundation for building and developing their relationships. However, there are occasions where thinking a certain way or having a particular emotion may not be suitable for a relationship, given the importance of honesty. Here are the things that, if not spoken, can safeguard the love and respect you have for your lover.
“You Always/You Never”
Using such expressions as “You always” or “You never” during the argument only fuels defensiveness. They are often not entirely accurate and can make your partner feel as if your criticism is unjustly targeting them. Instead, try to hone in on specific characteristics and how these things make you think; this way, you will have a more constructive conversation.
“I Regret Marrying You”
Telling your spouse you wish you never got married when angry is not easily forgiven, no matter how much you were triggered to say it. Such words erode the basis of your connection and, while extremely painful, breed suspicion and self-uncertainty. Thus, whenever you have concerns or feel frustrated, put them into words and solve all the emerging problems without humiliating your partner.
“My Ex Would Have Handled That Better”
If there is one thing that is sure to bring resentment, you should compare your spouse to your previous partner. Mentioning a former partner, especially in a favorable light, creates a feeling of insecurity, inadequateness, or disrespect for your spouse. Do not make comparisons; instead, try to give specific behavior or the change you expect in your marriage and then talk it out with your spouse.
“I Can Do Better Than You”
To suggest that the other could make you happier or more fulfilled is one of the most unhealthy things to say. Such statements result in low self-esteem and can break the morale within a relationship. However, do not use this to threaten to move elsewhere over issues or conflicts; instead, approach these from the perspective of wanting to work together and grow as partners.
“You’re Just Like Your Parent”
Frustratingly, it is prevalent in many relationships to call one’s spouse vis-à-vis one of the parent figures. This can only make the spouse feel irritated and random and make them feel like you do not understand them. If a particular behavior worries you more, it is better done directly and without comparing to other family members.
“That’s Not How My Family Does It”
It is disappointing or causes rejection or feelings of inferiority to point out differences and cultures that your partner has and the family practices. In the beautiful tapestry of marriage traditions, the thread of mutual respect weaves together unity rather than division. If you consider one tradition important, perhaps you can propose it without insulting your partner’s method. When couples honor and value each other, they create a strong bond that enhances their partnership.
“You Look…”
Saying negative things about your partner’s appearance, for example, even jokingly, causes the partner to feel insecure. A partner’s physical and personal qualities must be appreciated in a marriage. A partner has to be built up to feel good about themself and, in turn, make the other partner attracted to them. If you have doubts about health, do not brag about it, and approach the topic with sensitivity and care.
“I Make More Money Than You”
Again, when one person uses financial disparities to get the upper hand or assert superiority over the other, it is incredibly upsetting. Money can be a sensitive subject; it is always unkind to say anything about money because it wrecks the civil aspect of the relationship. Instead, focus on building a relationship where both inputs are appreciated, irrespective of who is paid more or less.
“You’re So Overly Sensitive”
Telling your partner that they are too sensitive erases them and makes them feel as if they are of no importance. We all think in diverse ways, and while something as simple as that could be unimportant to you, it might be necessary to them. Do not dismiss or rationalize any of them because this draws the two of you closer emotionally.
“I Don’t Need You”
Saying things that indicate that you can do it without them means that you do not need them and also shows that you could do things much better on your own can be dismissive and hurtful. Love and commitment in marriage require each partner to have something to contribute, and any assertion to the contrary stunts affection. Instead, try to make your partner know how much they mean to you even though you can handle some tasks independently.
“You’re Acting Crazy”
Forcing your partner to choose between love and their feelings is the worst thing you could ever do because labeling emotions as “crazy” is wrong. They can be applied in a derogatory way, shutting down a conversation and effectively silencing your partner, their opinions, or their feelings. Instead of constantly misinterpreting their behavior, being positive means asking why and trying to understand it from their side.
“I Told You So”
Saying “I told you so” is a relationship killer that instantly creates distance between partners. These words are more about winning an argument than showing love or support. When you say it after something goes wrong, it adds unnecessary tension by focusing on blame rather than support, all the while hurting your partner’s feelings. Instead, you should offer empathy and lend them support.
“I Don’t Have Time for This”
As partners, you are expected to be there for each other, but replying with this statement when you’re asked for something is both hurtful and disrespectful. When you say this phrase, it shows that you don’t value them in your life and that their issues are not worthy of your time. If you are genuinely busy, you should communicate it to them instead of shutting them off with this statement.
“I Don’t Care”
There are many reasons never to say “I don’t care” during a disagreement or when both parties are upset. It’s always wise to counterargue, so even when you are confused and do not know what to say or disagree on certain things, make sure that you show appreciation for your partner’s opinion. Stating you are willing to listen a little helps to make the relationship feel less like one-sided support.
It is not about avoiding the discussion with your spouse but about how these or other thoughts are said to your partner. In essence, productive communication entails the creation of an environment for the two of you to feel mutual appreciation and comprehension. Finally, building a healthy, loving, and supportive relationship encompasses using positive language when relating with your partner to be supportive throughout your marriage.
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This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.
