16 Things You’re Doing That Are Secretly Frustrating Your Roommates

Moving out is exciting because we finally get to live how we want, but our roommates might disagree. In fact, many people clash with their roommates. And while we think the other party is at fault, if you’re doing some things you shouldn’t, chances are you’re the terrible roommate. Here are some signs you might be driving your roommate crazy and what you need to do about it.

You’re Messy

Leaving dirty dishes in the sink, letting the garbage get full, not picking up after yourself, and not drying the washroom when you’ve used it are just examples of how some roommates can be messy. While you don’t have to be a neat freak, it’s important to be mindful of a shared living space.

You’re Loud

It’s natural to want to live as we please in our homes, but if we’re sharing a roof with someone, we must also cater to their preferences. You might like your music loud or prefer to be noisy, but it’s important that your habits do not disrupt your roommate’s routine. Tone down your music or find a volume and time that works for both of you.

You’re Inconsiderate

Eating all the food without replacing it, using up all the toilet paper, not pitching in for ordered food, frequently letting your friends crash without confirming it with your roommate, and leaving lights on when you’re not there are shared inconsiderate roommates. It’s important to respect your roommate’s presence as much as they respect yours.

You’re Not Hygienic

While hygiene is a personal affair, if you’re effectively messing with someone else, you need to improve your hygiene habits. Examples of being unhygienic include leaving dirty clothes all around the apartment, not picking up after yourself, not flushing the toilet properly, mixing dirty utensils, and even not showering regularly enough.

You Don’t Respect Personal Space

Being friendly with your roommate is great, but everyone needs some alone time now and then. If you’re always walking into their room without knocking or crowding their personal space, it’s going to cause tension. Giving each other a bit of space keeps things chill and makes a living together way more comfortable.

You Host All The Time

You might like to party and host people, even because you like having company. But never host without consulting your roommate. Your roommate might not be a party animal or just like peace. If you’re constantly hosting without consulting, you’re setting up for a bad roommate relationship.

You Leave Lights and Appliances On

Leaving the lights, TV, or other gadgets on when you’re not using them might not seem like a big deal, but it can annoy your roommate. It’s not just about the electric bill—it’s also about being thoughtful. Taking a second to turn things off shows you care, and it helps avoid unnecessary friction. Little things like that make a big difference.

You Borrow Without Asking

Many roommates share things; it’s natural and often unproblematic. However, you’re taking advantage of your roommate if you’re always borrowing things without asking, usually returning them in poor condition and not even showing gratitude for them. Your roommate’s absence isn’t an excuse for borrowing without permission.

You Ignore Rules

Abiding by house rules set by your roommate or a dorm/shared living space supervisor is essential to being a good roommate. If you’re constantly breaking the rules (having guests over when explicitly told not to, breaking curfew, using your roommate’s things when asked not to), you’re gradually turning your roommate away from you.

You’re Selfish

We all want to be comfortable at home, so it’s natural to want to mold our living space accordingly. However, if you only think about yourself and your needs and actively block your roommate’s needs, you’re being inconsiderate and selfish. Being a good roommate is all about compromising and finding the balance to live as independent individuals.

You’re Unreliable

Are you always late on the rent? Do you forget to pay the bills timely? Are you always short on fuel or return the car with an empty tank? Forget to feed the pets? Chances are, you’re unreliable and irresponsible. It’s one thing to ignore or miss deadlines, but it’s another to make a shared living space difficult for another person.

You Never Communicate

If you avoid talking about problems, give your roommate the cold shoulder, or act passive-aggressive, things will only get worse. Sharing a home works best when both of you can be open and honest. If something is bothering you, or if you think something is bothering them, don’t hold it in. Just have a conversation about it instead of ghosting them.

You Skip Chores

Nobody likes doing chores, but if you’re skipping them all the time just because you know your roommate will pick up the slack, you’re exploiting their kindness. If you keep ignoring responsibilities and skipping chores, you’re going to make your roommate resent you, which could end up badly.

You Meddle in Their Personal Affairs

It’s natural to want to get to know the person you’re living with. It’s also natural to want privacy. But if you can’t find the balance and consistently try to find out what your roommate is up to, who they’re hanging with, or what their personal affairs are, you’re actively making the house uncomfortable and unsafe for them.

You Don’t Pay Bills on Time

If you’re late paying your part of the rent or bills, it can stress out your roommate. They shouldn’t have to remind you or cover for you while you sort it out. Paying on time shows you’re responsible and makes living together easier for both of you. Consistently being late can ruin trust and create unnecessary tension.

You Complain

Nobody likes a whiner, especially if they complain about things that they can fix themselves. A big part of being a roommate is being an adult; if you’re always complaining about things but are never trying to fix them, you’re going to drive your roommate out. It’s also an unhealthy habit that can affect your future.

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This article was first published on the RB ITALIA Blog.