16 Red Flags You Are a Bad Boyfriend

Relationships aren’t as easy as we think; we have to navigate through unexpected hurdles and learn to coexist with someone else. Being a good boyfriend means showing up and putting in the care your partner deserves. But sometimes, without realizing it, you might not be doing enough. If you’re wondering how you’re doing in your relationship, here are some signs that you’re not being the best boyfriend. Noticing these signs can help you make changes and strengthen your bond.

You Take Them For Granted

Our loved ones do so much for us, but their efforts go unappreciated more often than not. We might think our actions or general presence are enough to express gratitude, but there’s nothing wrong with going the extra mile and being thankful. If your partner does much for you but barely acknowledges it, you’re setting the relationship up for failure.

You’re Emotionally Distant

We get it; exposing our vulnerable sides, even to our partners, is tough. But every relationship requires a certain level of trust and emotional intimacy; if you’re always shutting down your partner’s attempts to connect emotionally or masking your feelings from them, you’re not a good partner.

You Prioritize Other Company

Your partner should come first, at least in most cases. However, if you’re always spending time with other people and focusing on their needs instead of your partner, you’re effectively choosing other people over your loved one. This makes your partner feel neglected and unloved and might throw them off the relationship.

You Constantly Criticize Them

It’s okay to disagree with your partner’s choices or traits, but this doesn’t mean you get to criticize them for them. Your partner opens up to you because they appreciate your support; if you use the opportunity to point out their flaws and criticize their appearance, behavior, habits, personality, and lifestyle, you’re actively destroying their self-esteem.

You Always Blame Them

It’s never easy to accept fault, but it’s part of being a responsible adult. You’re immature and insensitive if you’re never taking accountability for your actions and usually pointing fingers at your partner. It puts your partner in a bad light and affects their self-esteem. They might also break up if you always blame them for your actions.

You Don’t Pay Attention

While your partner is a complex person, figuring out what they want doesn’t take a lot of effort. All you need to do is focus on their actions, behavior, and words, and you’ll know what they want. But if you’re quick to dismiss their words and rarely think back about their words, you’re clearly not putting in any effort.

You Always Make Excuses

A big part of being in a mature relationship is taking control of our actions and accepting their consequences. But if you’re always excusing your behavior, you’re not setting the bar high. Blaming your tardiness on exhaustion, missing essential events on poor memory, etc., and never making an effort to care will disappoint your partner.

You Don’t Compromise

Relationships are big on compromise; without it, they won’t work. If neither partner is budging, the relationship won’t move forward. If only one partner is compromising all the time, it creates an imbalance that will affect the relationship. If your partner is constantly bending to your will but you rarely do the same for them, you need to reevaluate things.

You Put Them Down

Not everyone appreciates jokes at their expense. You might think you’re just messing around, but repeatedly putting down your partner’s appearance, ambition, personality, or choices will break their confidence and prevent them from succeeding. Ultimately, they’ll lose their respect for you.

You Never Plan Dates or Surprises

If your partner is always the one making plans or coming up with fun ideas, it can start to wear them out. Relationships work best when both people put in effort. Take some time to plan a date night or do something nice to surprise them. It doesn’t need to be anything big or expensive — what really matters is that you’re showing you care by making an effort.

You Compare Them To Others

Comparison is never good, but it is especially bad if you do it to your partner. People usually see their partners as a safe space, but this space no longer remains if their partners constantly compare them to other people and try to downplay their achievements. It makes you look superficial and insensitive.

You’re Too Attached to Your Phone

If you’re always on your phone during conversations or date nights, it can make your partner feel unimportant. They might think you care more about your screen than spending time with them. Try putting your phone away and focusing on them instead. Giving your full attention shows you value them and can make your relationship much better.

You Stonewall Serious Conversations

We get it; some conversations are tough to handle, and occasionally, you just might not be in the mood to talk. But if you’re constantly avoiding the question, skirting around the conversation, or altogether shutting down any attempts to get a straight answer, you’re stonewalling and being incredibly rude to your partner.

You Taunt Their Ambitions

We might not expect the world to support us, but we expect the world from our partners. If they’re the ones laughing at our ambitions, making a fool out of us, and generally being dismissive of things we want to pursue, we’re only going to have our spirit broken. Even if you think your partner’s ambition is short-lived, you should support them 100%.

You’re Not There When They Need You

As a partner, you are expected to be there for your partner both emotionally and physically. Whether they need help or simply want your opinion on something, you are not a good boyfriend if you’re always unavailable. Trust builds when your partner knows they can count on you. But if you frequently break promises or don’t show up in important moments, it signals that their needs are not your priority. 

You Hold Their Mistakes Against Them

We all make mistakes, but holding their mistakes against them or, worse, using them in arguments is not only hurtful but also disrespectful. It makes your partner feel like they are walking on eggshells around you. Constantly reminding them of their mistakes not only affects their self-esteem but also makes them distant over time.

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This article was first published on the RB ITALIA Blog.