17 Hidden Causes of Divorce That No One Talks About
Divorce is never an easy choice, and sometimes there’s more to it than people realize. Many couples deal with problems that aren’t talked about much, even though these issues can be just as harmful as the obvious ones. It’s important to notice these hidden challenges before they cause too much harm. Here are some less-discussed reasons why marriages fall apart. Knowing about these can help you understand what can really hurt a relationship.
They Changed Too Much
It’s natural to change throughout your life. But sometimes, these changes don’t align with the values that initially connected a couple. Sometimes, couples decide that the people they’ve become after changing aren’t compatible and grow apart. They’ll separately or mutually decide to leave but won’t discuss these out of fear of being shamed.
Lacking An Emotional Connection
People think physical intimacy is the only thing that matters in a marriage, but an emotional connection can make or break it. Many couples, even those who have been in a relationship for a few decades, feel disconnected on an emotional level. Such couples grow apart or begin to resent each other, eventually going their separate ways.
They Constantly Argue
Relationships have ups and downs, so many people don’t think bickering is the key to divorce. But many couples bicker daily about small things or significant conflicts. These couples can’t catch a break because they’re unable to resolve their disputes healthily. This creates resentment and emotional distance, pushing them to divorce.
They’re Not Financially Compatible
Financial incompatibility is one of the most common reasons people divorce. Although discussing finances before moving in or getting married should be the first step, many couples ignore it and hope they’ll be able to figure it out on the go. This often comes to bite them in the back; they begin to disagree with how to spend and save money, eventually fighting about it every time.
Toxic In-Laws
Many people don’t get along with their in-laws, but constant and consistent interference from the in-laws can break up a marriage. While many of us have difficult in-laws, if your in-laws constantly criticize you and your lifestyle, it creates a lot of stress and conflict. Dealing with toxic in-laws can lead to a divorce if your spouse doesn’t stand up for you.
They Have Unresolved Childhood Trauma
Childhood traumas have a long-lasting impact on a person’s ability to form and manage healthy and thriving relationships. Since people keep their trauma to themselves, it can seep in different ways and affect their marriage. It is tough to support a spouse with childhood trauma who isn’t willing to resolve it through therapy or counseling.
Their Parenting Styles Didn’t Match
Many couples dream of having kids and even plan them, but they don’t pay much attention to parenting techniques. Typically, each parent has a preferred way to discipline and raise children, so they clash after having kids. Frequent clashes over parenting styles can be a significant source of conflict and are often unresolvable without counseling.
They Struggled With Hidden Addictions
Although we believe we know our spouses the best, you can never really predict how someone is. This is why many couples break up after one or both spouses are discovered to have a hidden hobby or addiction that has devastating effects. This can be something severe like gambling or even something you wouldn’t consider a dealbreaker, like being a workaholic.
They Hated Chores
This sounds selfish, but many couples divorce because of chores. This usually happens when one spouse does all of the housework and childcare, leading them to become exhausted and burnout. If they don’t get the proper support from their partner, they’ll begin to resent them and think of a way out.
They Disagreed About Social Media Use
Several couples disagree over social media use; this typically happens when one partner prefers curbing social media use while the other excessively uses it. They disagree about social media use (how much time you spend on it, whether you should post each other, etc.), leading to conversations going in circles and reading communication.
Unresolved Mental Health Issues
When mental health issues like depression or anxiety go untreated, it can take a heavy toll on a marriage. One partner’s struggles can lead to misunderstandings, emotional distance, and a lot of frustration. Over time, these problems can make it hard to keep a healthy, supportive connection, which can eventually lead to divorce.
Lack Of Fun & Excitement
If a marriage is missing fun and excitement, it can start to feel dull and lifeless. Without shared activities and happy moments, partners might feel disconnected and bored. This lack of joy can create emotional distance, reducing the sense of companionship and fulfillment, which can ultimately push the relationship toward divorce.
They Lose Sight Of Shared Goals
Many married couples have shared dreams or goals. However, marriage can change the trajectory of achieving these goals; couples can get distracted by other, more significant things and lose track. If they lose sight of these dreams permanently, they begin to resent each other and become even more distant.
Lack of Intimacy
Physical closeness is a big part of feeling emotionally connected in a marriage. When that fades, it can create a gap between partners, making both feel unfulfilled. If the issues behind it aren’t talked about or resolved, that distance can grow, and over time, it can be a key reason couples start drifting apart.
They Grew Apart
Love isn’t linear; it has its ups and downs. Sometimes, even the best couples lose sight of who they are and struggle to get along, even if they’ve been together for a while. Even with the right tools like counseling and therapy, couples can drift apart and aren’t always able to recognize what’s happening until it’s too late.
Lack of Appreciation
As time passes, it becomes increasingly important for partners to express appreciation and gratitude for each other. When appreciation stops, partners start to feel like they are taken for granted. This eventually results in heated arguments and partners even withdrawing efforts. The longer this continues, the more resentment there is, ultimately causing couples to split up.
They Had A Troublesome Past
Most people who engage in harmful behaviors like bullying as kids or even those with a criminal history will hide the truth from their spouses when they turn a new leaf. However, the past can catch up to them, and once their spouses learn who they were, they might not be too forgiving and ask for a divorce. In most cases, divorcees refuse to share the reason for divorce to protect themselves or their ex-spouses from backlash.
More For You
Stress factors to watch out for in your marriage. Every relationship goes through some challenges. If you’re struggling to keep up with your partner, look for these stressors that can help you resolve issues.
This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.
