A Drama-Free Christmas: 14 Tips to Set Clear Boundaries with Family
Christmas is a time of joy, celebrations, and getting together with your family. But, hosting during the holiday season can be very challenging. From decorating the house to cooking and making sure everyone is happy and satisfied, it’s not an easy task. This year, take a step back, set healthy boundaries, and enjoy the season without overburdening yourself. Here are some tips to help you keep the holiday spirit alive without stress.
Be Honest About Budget Constraints
If hosting Christmas is getting too expensive, don’t be afraid to let your family know. You can suggest ideas like a potluck dinner where everyone brings a dish or a simple gift exchange to keep things affordable. Most people will appreciate your honesty and will happily pitch in to make the holiday enjoyable without adding financial stress.
Set A Time Limit
Every holiday gathering ends the same way: the host gets frustrated before dinner even starts because the guests tend to be tardy. But not this year. Set a clear schedule and share it with the guests. Communicate that the party will start at the allocated time, so if anyone’s running late, you won’t be responsible for the tardiness.
Set Collective Boundaries
Boundaries must be shared within households; it won’t be helpful if you’ve set limits but your partner or children haven’t been able to communicate theirs. Before sending the invitations out, sit down with your family and discuss boundaries they’d like to set with others. Create a list of collective boundaries and forward it to the guests.
Bring a Friend or Partner for Support
Having a friend or partner by your side can make setting up hosting Christmas a lot easier. They can help steer conversations if things get challenging or give you a quick breather when needed. Their support helps you stay calm and stick to your boundaries, even in tense moments.
Use Humor to Lighten the Mood
Sometimes, a little humor can work wonders in stressful situations. A playful comment or a light-hearted joke can ease the tension when conversations get heated during Christmas. Humor can shift the focus and keep things relaxed, helping everyone feel more at ease. Just remember to not go overboard with it so nobody takes it personally.
Limit Alcohol Consumption
Alcohol can sometimes bring out emotions or lead to phrases that nobody would want to hear. By limiting alcohol consumption, you can avoid such situations from arising. Also, if you are hosting families with kids, it’s best to not have alcoholic drinks at all to avoid any drama from happening.
Set A Safe Word
No matter how hard you try to have the picture-perfect gathering, there’s bound to be at least that one person who gets all up on your nerves. When you sense that moment coming, whisper a previously devised safe word to your partner, roommate, close friend, or even children so they can step in and help you destress before things hit the fan.
Avoid Triggers
If you or anyone on your guestlist has a topic they want to avoid at all costs, ensure nobody talks about it. Reach out to guests, ask for triggering issues, and share the finalized list with everyone so they know what topics to steer clear of. If a guest tries to broach a triggering topic, step in and redirect the conversation without letting them get another word in.
Prepare Responses
We’re all familiar with those guests who can’t seem to mind their own business. They’ll ask about anything and anyone, even when they know it’s a sensitive topic. Some guests even throw in snarky comments, but not if you’re prepared; practice conversations and personal questions with a trusted friend/loved one and come up with the perfect responses for even unexpected questions.
Keep The Guests Busy
Some guests complain because they’re unaware of how challenging hosting can be. This year, delegate tasks and responsibilities and announce the gathering on social media well ahead of time so everyone knows what it’s going to be like. You might have fewer people than expected attending, but it’ll only lessen the load for you and make things easier.
Don’t Share Personal Updates
You might feel pressured into talking about personal updates you don’t want to share, so it’s time you hold that head high and set those boundaries firmly. Redirect conversations from topics you don’t want to answer; if your guests insist, give generic and vague answers (like saying work’s going okay when asked about a promotion) until they get the message.
Manage Expectations
Once you’ve compiled a list of all the unwanted activities, share it with your guests and bluntly ask them to be mindful the next time, or else they’ll get the boot. It might sound harsh, but manage their expectations and communicate how unrealistic and challenging they can be. Don’t let their expectations cloud your fun.
Have Backup Activities
Having a couple of easy games or activities planned can save the day if conversations slow down or the kids start getting bored. Games like charades, holiday trivia, or even a simple craft can help bring everyone together. It’s a fun way to keep the energy up and ensure everyone is having a good time.
Remind Yourself It’s Just One Day
Christmas celebrations can sometimes feel like a lot, but it’s just one day that comes only once a year. Reminding yourself of this can help you relax, not take every moment so seriously, and fill your mind with negative thoughts. Knowing it’s temporary makes it easier to handle any challenges that may show up.
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This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.
