How Social Media Is Quietly Shaping Modern Love
Social media is a big part of how couples connect today. It helps us stay in touch, share memories, and celebrate special moments with each other. It can even add a bit of romance with sweet messages and posts. But it’s not always perfect—sometimes misunderstandings, jealousy, or feeling pressured by “perfect” couples online can cause problems. The trick is to use social media in a way that helps, not hurts, your relationship. Finding the right balance is key. Here are some ways social media can affect your relationship, both in good ways and bad.
Note: The content of this article does not reflect the writer’s personal beliefs.
Different First Approach
Back in the day, men – and women! – had to gather all their courage to talk to their crush and ask her -him! – out. Young teens had to dial their house number and hope their parents would not pick up the phone. Long story short, the first approach required guts! This is not to say that asking someone out is incredibly easy nowadays, but it is certainly less stressful.
Different Flirting
Every young kid has learned the art of flirting via text. Nowadays, mastering this skill in person is not enough; flirting through texts and social media is mandatory. Do you know which emoticons are appropriate and which ones are not? Can you take good selfies? Do you know how much and for how long to text without sounding detached or obsessed?
More Jealousy
Unfortunately, social media also means more jealousy between well-established as well as new couples. With so many influencers constantly publishing provocative images that are easy for your partner to access with a simple click, how could you not be jealous? Today, even a simple ‘like’ to the wrong picture can be the beginning of endless arguing.
Less Quality Time
Have you ever been out on a first date with someone who couldn’t stop staring at his phone? Irritating, we know! However, when couples are well-established, this is suddenly accepted. But it shouldn’t! Make it a rule to turn off your phones if you’re on a date or spending quality time together.
Boost Connectivity
While social media has made it more difficult for us to spend quality time together, it has also boosted our connectivity. Sending a little text to your loved one in the middle of the day can be a beautiful reminder that they are on your mind. Plus, social media has completely changed our communication as we can now not only talk from a distance but also send posts, images, voice messages, and so on.
Addiction
Social media addiction is probably one of the most underrated addictions affecting our society nowadays, but it is an extremely serious issue. With 5% to 10% of the US population meeting the criteria for social media addiction, each one of us needs to ask ourselves whether we are suffering from this problem.
Unhealthy Comparisons
It’s hard not to compare your relationship with others when scrolling through Instagram and TikTok. As beautiful couples having a French breakfast on a romantic balcony overlooking Paris smile at you from your smartphone, it’s easy to think that your relationship is not up to the standards set by influencers. When having these thoughts, remember that these couples never show their negative moments, meaning that those images you see are not a truthful representation of reality.
Portraying a “Perfect” Relationship
While social media has surely opened many doors for connection, there is an ever-growing pressure to portray a perfect relationship online. Couples constantly feel the need to mask their private reality and put on a perfect face for their followers. Eventually, couples begin to disconnect and lose sense of the relationship’s true nature.
Infidelity
Social media has completely redefined our idea of infidelity. Before the arrival of the internet, couples had to agree on a few simple boundaries. For instance, is it okay to flirt with others at parties or events? Nowadays, however, the list goes on and on. Can you follow people you find attractive? Can you chat with your exes? Can you like the picture posted by that coworker who clearly has a crush on you?
Miscommunication
Unfortunately, communicating by text often leads to plenty of misunderstanding. Communication is made of words, facial expressions, intonation, gestures, and so on. These are all lost when chatting online, meaning your partner can easily misinterpret what you are trying to communicate, especially during an argument.
Body Image Issues
Comparison affects not only how you see your romantic relationship but also how you see yourself. We all know that most pictures on social media are highly photoshopped, yet we often compare ourselves to these. This unhealthy behavior can lead to body image issues, which can negatively influence your romantic relationship.
More Information
On the bright side, social media has given us access to plenty of useful information. For instance, we now know that monogamy is not the only option and that other relationship types, such as polyamory, not only exist but can be successful, too. These platforms have also increased awareness regarding important issues, such as domestic abuse.
Long Distance
Lastly, social media has also made it easier for long-distance relationships to thrive. Back in the day, the only way to keep in contact when living in different countries was through letters or phone calls; nowadays, partners separated by hundreds of miles have technology at their disposal to stay in touch.
Attention Span
We all know that social media have caused a drastic drop in our attention span. This can have massive repercussions on couples. For instance, you may notice your partner checking his phone during an argument or during private or quality time. If you are both responsible for this, try to fix your behaviors. Checking your phones means you are not fully present.
Spontaneity
Social media and the internet are also often responsible for a lack of spontaneity in our lives. When did you last visit a random restaurant or café before checking online reviews? This lack of spontaneity can also have repercussions in your love relationship. Be aware of this, and try to bring it back!
Privacy Issues
Privacy is a huge issue nowadays. Most people will want to share their love story on social media to tell the world they are dating again! However, not all of us are comfortable with this. While some understand the need for privacy, others may think it’s an attempt to hide their relationship and may start a fight because of it.
Social Pressure
It’s not only the need to be like other couples that come with social media; couples face immense pressure to achieve certain milestones because, according to social media, they’re the only couple that hasn’t. For example, you might not be too interested in achieving a particular milestone (having kids, buying a house, etc.) until social media couples start doing it. It creates an invisible pressure to reach the same milestones, or you’re seen as a failure.
More for You
If miscommunication and unhealthy comparisons have affected your marriage lately, why not try to do something nice for your loved one? For instance, you can surprise him with a lovely dinner. If you like the idea, here are romantic table settings for a chic dinner for two!
This article was first published on the RB ITALIA Blog.
