18 Creative Ways to Reignite the Spark After Having Kids

When was the last time you and your partner had a peaceful dinner together or watched a movie just the two of you? If you can’t remember, it might be a sign that it’s time to reconnect. Being parents often shifts our attention to the kids, leaving less time and energy for the relationship that started it all. But the truth is, your marriage is the foundation of your family, and keeping it strong is very important. Here are some easy tips to help you focus on each other again, stay close, and keep the spark alive after becoming parents.

Do New Things Together

Trying new things together is a great way to bring romance back into your relationship. Your options are endless. For instance, you can learn a new skill by taking salsa classes, joining a photography course, or attending a cooking workshop. Alternatively, you can visit a museum, walk in a part of your city you’ve never seen, or spend some time in a new café just in your area.

Don’t Always Talk About the Kids

Have your kids become your only topic of discussion? While this is normal, especially for new parents, if you are still only talking about diapers and baby formulas after a few months, you may need to acknowledge and address the issue. Push yourself to explore new topics, such as the latest book you read or a music record you particularly liked.

Don’t Underestimate the Power of Little Acts 

Bringing romance back into your relationship doesn’t have to be too difficult. Sometimes, even small acts can make the whole difference. Leave a thank you note to your partner, buy some flowers, or show up at home for dinner with his favorite pizza and a good bottle of wine.

Break Routines 

Routines can make us feel safe, bringing predictability into our lives. This is fundamental to a healthy and balanced lifestyle, especially for parents. However, sometimes, a bit of spontaneity can rekindle the spark in your relationship. Surprise your partner with tickets for a movie you both want to watch or a romantic homemade dinner with candlelight and soft jazz playing in the background.

Reconsider Your Priorities 

We all tend to prioritize our kids over our partners, but this is not ideal. Experts believe that your relationship with your spouse is the foundation upon which everything is built. Only by prioritizing your relationship with your partner will you create a loving and safe environment where your children can thrive.

Make Plans 

After becoming parents, we rarely continue to make plans with our partners. However, this is undoubtedly not the end of a marriage; most of the time, it is the very beginning of it. Fantasizing about your bright future together can bring new excitement to your relationship. For instance, are you planning to buy a house for your retirement? Is it going to be near the sea? Or why not plan a big trip after your kids leave for college?

Go on a Trip

Talking about trips, going on vacation together is a marvelous way to nourish your love relationship. Just because you now have kids doesn’t mean all your holidays should be family holidays. Plan a relaxing weekend getaway in a spa, take a long trekking journey, or fly to Paris for the most romantic vacation.

Prioritize Intimacy

Bringing back intimacy in your relationship is a great way to rekindle romance. However, start small if you haven’t been intimate with your partner for a while. Don’t put pressure on each other to be sexual. Start by cuddling in bed and get used to each other’s bodies again without pressuring your partner to go further.

Ask Around

If you have friends with kids, ask them for tips and tricks. You are surely not the only one going through these struggles, so why not ask people who’ve been there before for help? Your friends know you well, so they will be able to provide you with valuable suggestions specifically targeted for your marriage.

Create a Photobook Together 

Similarly to fantasizing about the future, reminiscing can bring you plenty of joy. Creating a photobook of your best photos can be an excellent project to make you think about all the beautiful memories you’ve made together. Plus, at the end of the project, you’ll have a photo book to show your children – and, one day, grandchildren! – when they’ll grow old.

Level up Your Communication

Sometimes, when romance is missing, so is good communication. Focusing on this can help you address the core problems in your relationships and let go of the resentment accumulated throughout the years. Consider taking a communication class or reading a book about healthy ways to communicate your feelings.

Just Put in the Effort

Like being a good parent, being a good partner is mostly about putting in the effort. You will make mistakes; this is unavoidable. However, if you keep trying, you will undoubtedly bring romance back into your relationship. So, don’t give up and be patient. With consistency, you and your partner will soon feel butterflies in your stomachs again.

Start A New Hobby Together as a Couple

Starting a new hobby together as a couple can be a fantastic way to bring back romance after having kids. Whether learning to cook, gardening, or joining a dance class, shared activities provide opportunities for quality time and create new memories. Exploring a hobby together encourages teamwork, communication, and mutual support, all essential for a healthy relationship. It also introduces a fun element into your routine, breaking the monotony of daily life.

Set Up A Cozy Home Movie Night

Transform your living room or backyard into a snug retreat with soft blankets, pillows, and dim lighting. Choose a selection of your favorite movies or discover new ones to watch together. Prepare some delicious snacks like popcorn, chocolates, and your favorite drinks to enjoy during the movie. Creating a relaxed and intimate atmosphere allows you to unwind, cuddle up, and reconnect, turning an ordinary evening into a memorable romantic experience.

Wear Something Nice

When was the last time you wore your favorite dress? Sometimes, surprising your partner can be as easy as wearing your favorite heels, a sexy red dress, and bold lipstick. Try to make this a monthly occurrence—a night when both of you do your best to come up with a sexy look to impress each other. Appearance is not everything, but it can make a massive difference.

Get Rid Of Unrealistic Expectations

While expecting your partner to do certain things is natural, unconditional love means loving without expecting anything in return. Of course, you should divide house duties and other responsibilities, but it is worth asking yourself whether you subconsciously expect things from your partner that may never happen. For instance, if you are staying with him, hoping he will one day change, it may be time to let go of these unrealistic expectations and instead focus on loving unconditionally.

Share Daily Highlights

Life gets incredibly busy after having kids, but taking little time out of the day to keep your partner in the loop has a huge effect on your relationship. Knowing that they are on your mind throughout the day makes your partner feel loved. Sharing daily highlights also encourages healthy conversation, keeping you both engaged in each other’s lives.

Take Turns Tackling the Kids

One of the most common reasons the spark fizzles out after having kids is because only one of the parents is handling the kids, which can create resentment and tension. Form an alliance; take turns when teaching consequences so there isn’t a good cop/bad cop dynamic; tag each other out if you’re feeling burned out, and even when handling parenting activities like bedtime stories, diaper changes, etc.

More For You

In order to create the perfect photobook, you first need to have perfect photos! So, why not plan a fantastic holiday in a scenic place? Nothing is better than a weekend getaway at the French Riviera to keep the spark alive.

This article was first published on the RB ITALIA Blog.