16 Traditional Divorce Sayings That Are Completely Misleading – Don’t Listen to Them
Getting a divorce is one of the most difficult decisions of life, especially when you’ve lived with that person for long. But for many, it’s also a chance to leave behind an unhealthy or abusive relationship and take a brave step toward a new beginning. No matter the situation, every person who decides to part ways hears unsolicited advice (some of it can be not very encouraging) from friends and families. These phrases are often outdated and no longer apply in today’s world. If you’re facing this tough time and hoping to start fresh, here are some common phrases you might hear that you should simply ignore
“Better The Devil You Know Than The Angel You Don’t”
This phrase implies that staying in an unhappy marriage is much safer than seeking happiness elsewhere because you never really know if you’ll find it. Of course, such phrases are only said to discourage people from seeking a divorce. Ultimately, finding happiness should be your goal, even if you don’t know where it will take you.
“Think About The Children”
Almost every couple with children who is considering divorce is asked to rethink their decision because people believe it will make the children miserable. However, living with parents who don’t get along is a much worse experience for children, so it’s better to prioritize an amicable split that allows children to thrive.
“A Broken Marriage Is A Badge Of Shame”
Old-fashioned people think getting a divorce is a shameful act and should not be condoned. Such people will try to convince parting couples to stay; if they don’t, they’ll shame them even after they’ve separated. Ironically, staying in an unhappy household has greater negative impacts because it normalizes accepting an unfavorable environment.
“Once Married, Always Married”
Almost every old-aged and long-term couple believes sticking in a marriage is the only way to maintain it. Such people can go through incredibly traumatic experiences (an affair, terrible habits, etc.) and still believe a marriage shouldn’t be broken, not because they’re happy, but because they think couples should stick together, no matter how toxic the relationship gets.
“Everyone Fights; That’s Just Marriage”
One of the most toxic beliefs is that couples should stick together since every relationship has its ups and downs. However, staying in an unhealthy relationship only normalizes toxicity. It’s much better to part ways when you’re just fighting; staying can only escalate the situation.
“You Just Need To Work Harder At It”
Sometimes, divorces aren’t amicable and can come as a surprise for one partner. Most often, this one partner is already feeling down and neglected and has a hard time accepting divorce. But when they do begin to move on, the people around them convince them to stay, suggesting they might be the ones to blame. Of course, things don’t really work this way, and this only hurts them more.
“Happy Couples Never Divorce”
Some people say that if a marriage was really happy, it would last forever. But the truth is, people can grow apart or face changes in life that make it better for both to go separate ways. Marriage and happiness aren’t always simple, and sometimes, moving on is the healthiest choice for everyone involved.
“A Single Parent Can’t Raise Kids Right”
You’ve probably heard this sentence many times if you’re divorcing and have kids. Friends, family members, and even your ex-spouse will try to convince you that it’s hard to raise kids on your own, so you shouldn’t head for divorce. However, providing kids with a stable background is much easier when you’re not constantly fighting with your spouse.
“You Made A Vow; You Have To Stick It Out”
Yes, vows are written to last a lifetime, but some marriages fizzle out. In such scenarios, the vows you make don’t stay in effect, much less be the reason to stay. Just because you made a vow is no reason to stay in a marriage, especially since its foundation is built on love and trust.
“Just Give It More Time; Things Will Change”
If things are bad, neglecting problems won’t fix them at all. You might be tempted to stay because people will convince you the problems will go away with time, but if things are on the verge of a divorce, it’s much better to bow out respectfully than let things drag on.
“You’ll Regret It”
This unsolicited advice comes from divorcees or long-term couples who believe leaving a marriage will make you miserable. However, if you’re suffering in the relationship, experiencing neglect, lack of trust, or anything that warrants a divorce, the right thing to do is pull the plug before it gets too hard to leave.
“Marriage is About Sacrifice”
People might tell you that marriage is all about sacrificing your own happiness to keep things together. While compromise is a part of any relationship, constantly putting your own well-being on the back burner can lead to resentment and unhappiness. It’s important to know when a relationship is no longer good for you and make choices that protect your mental and emotional health.
“Stay Together For Financial Security”
Some might suggest sticking with an unhappy marriage just for financial stability. While money can be a serious concern, staying in a relationship that makes you miserable can seriously damage your emotional well-being. It’s important to seek out financial advice and figure out a plan that lets you live a happier life, even if that means moving forward on your own.
“Marriage Counseling Can Solve Anything”
Marriage counseling can be really helpful for a lot of couples, but it’s not a fix-all for every relationship. Sometimes things have gone too far, and no amount of counseling can fully heal the hurt or rebuild broken trust. Knowing when it’s time to let go is important for both people to find happiness again.
“A Good Wife/Husband Should Be Able To Fix Things”
People often hear this from their parents or parents-in-law, who have gone through a traditional upbringing and conform to conventional norms. To them, a spouse must abide by specific rules and stick to the marriage no matter what, even if it damages the relationship in the long run. It’s important, you know, sometimes, things can’t be fixed unless you separate.
“Don’t Rock The Boat”
If you’re in an unstable or unhappy marriage and are looking for an out, you’ll hear this phrase from anyone you look to for advice. People will try to convince you to sit out a fight or stop you from communicating your feelings because it might stir the pot. But don’t delay something that’s inevitable; it’ll only hurt you and your partner more.
More For You
Marriage is not always a bed of roses. There are many challenges that couples may face in their relationship. If you feel like your marriage is in trouble, here are some stress factors you should look at.
This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.
