12 Signs You Are the Black Sheep in the Family

Family doesn’t always feel like family. Sometimes, you feel like you’re talking to a wall or being judged for things beyond your control. As much as we like to imagine family is all about loving and caring, sometimes, things don’t really work out, especially when you’re the black sheep. If your family dynamic always felt different, it might be because you’re just different. Here are some signs you’re the family’s black sheep.

You Feel Misunderstood

No matter how hard you try to fit in, you’ll always feel like you’re severely misunderstood. It might be because your family doesn’t understand your interests or always misunderstands whatever you’re trying to achieve. Still, you feel like you’re always getting off the wrong foot with your family, which often only happens when you’re the black sheep.

You Have Different Values

The term black sheep exists for a reason. There are many people who are considered disgraced or thrown out by their families because they follow different values. You’ll fight with your family about fundamental values and things like human rights, voting affairs, political preferences, etc. The difference in opinion often isolates people from their families, so they become the black sheep.

You Take Different Life Paths

Sometimes, families fixate on traditions and conventional paths so much that they expect every individual to follow them. And while most members of the family certainly follow through, some individuals carve their own path. This could mean opting for a profession that is considered unconventional (the iconic art school over medical) or doing things differently. Whatever it might be, it’s enough to make you the black sheep.

You’re Left Out Of Plans

A sad outcome of being the family’s black sheep is being left out of plans. This usually happens because the family’s black sheep doesn’t get along with other members. However, more often than not, families purposely exclude a member because they’re simply uninterested in pursuing a relationship, as much as it may hurt. Being left out of plans, even when you’re willing to go, is a hurtful yet obvious sign of being singled out.

You Disagree Often

You’re the family’s black sheep because you disagree with your family’s principles and habits. You clash over every possible thing, especially when it’s something as significant as human rights. This sets up normalcy for disagreements, so you find yourself stepping on each other’s toes even when it’s about trivial and mundane ordeals.

You Don’t Rely On Them For Support

Sadly, being the black sheep of the family means you’re unable to seek support. This is because some families single out members who they can’t agree with. They’ll withdraw emotional and physical support, making you feel lonely even in a house full of people. Eventually, you also learn to lean on yourself, so you stop seeking your family for support.

You Avoid Family Gatherings

Attending family gatherings means interacting with people you know you don’t get along with. You know reunions will eventually become a roasting session about you, no matter what they’re about, so you avoid family gatherings as much as possible. Eventually, it turns into a routine; you skip any events and gatherings where you know you’ll be singled out for being different.

You Form Strong Friendships Instead

“The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” This means you won’t always get the support and love you deserve from your relatives but might find them in your friends and colleagues. Forming strong bonds with friends is your way of accepting reality. You know they’re the only shoulders to lean on when things get tough because your family certainly won’t pull through.

You’re Often The Topic Of Gossip

Usually, being the family’s black sheep means you’re actively making choices and committing actions that go against family standards. Naturally, no matter who’s in the wrong (if there’s any), being different will earn you recognition. You’ll find your parents or siblings constantly discussing your affairs, making your choices public, and often ridiculing you- all because you’re different.

You Prefer Independence

Were you frequently left to your own tools? Did you have to learn to do things by experimenting yourself instead of being taught by a family member? If any of these rings true, it means you were left to fend for yourself. This usually happens when people are shunned by their families for being different and have no option but to become independent.

You Seek Validation Elsewhere

You know you’re not going to get validation from your family. Every little thing and idea you’ll get will eventually be dismissed, so you no longer strive for your family’s approval. Instead, you seek validation in other places, from other people: friends, colleagues, and even teachers. This means you develop trust bonds with people other than your relatives because you’re the black sheep of your family.

You’re Criticized For Success

Does your family have a habit of dismissing your success? Do they walk over your achievements and make you feel like you aren’t enough? Unfortunately, some families have a skewed perception of things. They don’t believe people different from them deserve success, so they’ll step on them, even if they share the same blood.

More For You

Your parents taught you a lot, but there are some things they might’ve missed. Life comes with challenges that aren’t always covered at home. Whether it’s managing money, understanding your feelings, or handling relationships, you’ve likely learned some of these lessons the hard way. Here are a few important things you probably had to figure out on your own.

This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.