16 Hurtful Things You Should Never Say to Your Spouse
We all say things we regret in moments of anger and frustration, but sometimes, we bite off more than we can chew. The next thing we know, we’re in a toxic house, seeing our marriage fall apart. Nobody wants their marriage to suffer because of careless comments, so it’s important to know what not to say. To help keep your relationship strong, here are some things you should avoid saying to your spouse.
“You Always Do This”
It’s frustrating to clash with your spouse over something repetitive, but outright telling them this is dismissive and will land you in trouble. Your spouse will see such words as an attack and will find them dismissive. These words also diminish your spouse as a person and as a partner.
“Here We Go Again…”
Saying this just as your partner brings up something important will turn the entire conversation negative. These selfish words convey that you’re dismissing your partner and that you believe their words and actions will only lead to a fight, which can be hurtful.
“Men/Women Just Don’t Understand”
It’s never a good idea to undermine someone just because of their gender, but it’s especially a bad idea when you do it to your spouse. Marriages rely on mutual trust and dependency; saying your partner won’t understand something you’re going through based on their gender diminishes their efforts as a spouse.
“My Friend/Family Would Never…”
Comparisons are never really successful, especially with a spouse. Including a comparison in an argument not only worsens it but implies you’re actively looking for an opportunity to bring down your spouse. It’s especially worse if you compare something they say or do with a friend or family member they don’t get along with.
“I Told You So”
We admit it: it’s satisfying to tell a person we told them so after they fumbled something we warned them about. But saying it to a spouse when they’re going through a tough time indirectly tells them that you value your opinions and advice over their experiences.
“I Regret Marrying You”
Saying “I regret marrying you” is incredibly hurtful and can badly impact your relationship. It shakes the very core of your marriage and can be hard to recover from. Even if you say it in the heat of the moment, those words can stick with your partner and make it tough to rebuild that trust.
“You’re Not Good Enough”
Telling your spouse they’re not good enough is a harsh blow to their confidence and can really hurt their self-esteem. It makes them feel like they’re failing as a partner, which can lead to feelings of insecurity and doubt. Saying something like this can create a huge gap between you, both emotionally and physically, that’s hard to close.
“Ugh, Really?”
These are some of the worst words you can say to a spouse, whether it is an argument or not. Hearing these words automatically puts a person in defense mode; they’ll think they offended you and will worry about how to fix things. These words also put them down as a person and diminish their feelings.
“You’re Overreacting”
You might think your spouse is overreacting when they bring up something that bothers them, but saying it outright is like a nail in the coffin. Hearing these words will prompt most people to fight, or they’ll be so disappointed and hurt that they’ll stop trying to initiate conversations.
“I’m Too Tired For This”
We understand the need to put off a fight or prevent things from escalating because you’re too tired, but not all arguments can be put to bed. Sometimes, your spouse might bring up things because it’s urgent to settle them, but dismissing their efforts by pulling the exhaustion card is thoughtless.
“I Wish You Were More Like”
One of the most heartbreaking things to hear from your partner is that they wish you were someone else. This person can be an ex, a friend, or a parent, but being compared to them will make your partner feel undervalued and unloved. It’s also one of the only few phrases that can directly land you with a divorce.
“I Can’t Stand You Right Now”
It’s normal to feel frustrated with your partner every once in a while, but telling them you can’t stand them can really hurt their feelings. It makes it seem like your love for them depends on everything always being perfect, which can be very upsetting. Rather than saying these harsh words, try to explain why you’re frustrated without attacking them as a person.
“I’m Done With You”
This is yet another phase you should avoid using, as it can hurt their feelings and make them feel unwanted. It sounds like you’re giving up and shutting down any chance to talk things out. This phrase can make your partner feel abandoned and rejected, turning a small issue into a big problem.
“I’m Stuck With You”
Marriages are built on trust, love, and intimacy. Claiming you’re stuck with your partner in an argument or in a negative tone outright tells them you would be happier without them. They’ll begin to distance themselves, stop responding to any caring or loving attempts from you, and check out of the relationship.
“I Wish We Had Never Met”
These words directly convey that you aren’t interested in your spouse and would have never initiated a relationship with them if given a redo. It tells them you want an out, so even if the words were said out of anger or frustration, they’ll do irreversible damage and ruin the marriage.
“This is All Your Fault”
Saying this to your partner is wrong for many reasons. First, it shifts the entire blame on your partner, even if it’s not their fault. Second, it creates a notion that your partner ruins everything. Turning a problem into a personal attack to make them feel guilty while excusing yourself from any responsibility will only lead to a broken marriage.
More For You
Navigating a difficult married life is not always easy. However, if you identify these common stress factors, you can work on your relationship and strengthen your bond.
This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.
