17 Things Married Couples Wish They Had Done Differently
Marriage is a big decision, and it’s not something you should rush into. There are important things to think about and questions to ask yourself and your partner before you commit. If you don’t, you might end up regretting it later, like many couples do. To help you out, here are 17 things married couples wish they had known before getting married.
Note: The content of this article does not reflect the writer’s personal beliefs
Dream House Location
The location of your house will have a massive impact on your life. If you spend your whole life living in the suburbs and have always dreamed about a house in the city center, you may not think twice when the right opportunity arrives. However, buying a house in an area where you have never lived is never a good idea as the reality rarely matches our expectations.
Traveled More Before Kids
A lot of couples find themselves looking back and wishing they had taken more trips together before the kids came along. Traveling before starting a family gives you a chance to make unforgettable memories, see the world, and really connect with each other. It’s that special time when you can be spontaneous and adventurous without the extra responsibilities, and many wish they had made the most of it.
Mixing Hobbies and Work
If you think mixing your favorite hobby with your work is a good idea, think twice. While it may go extremely well in some cases, in others, it may lead you to start hating your favorite hobby. Always take little steps daily and see whether this is truly what you want.
A Big House
A big house can be perfect if you plan to have a huge family, but there are some downsides. First, the mortgage will be higher and take longer to repay. Second, a big house is synonymous with lots of cleaning. Unless you have the time to take care of it or the money to hire someone, you may want to opt for a middle-size apartment instead.
Living in Another Country
So many European countries have incredibly low university fees, great parental leave laws, and free healthcare. However, moving there will also mean that your kids will grow up away from their grandparents and will have a completely different culture from your own.
A Business
Our current society seems to suggest that to be successful in life, you need to become an entrepreneur. What no one tells you, however, is that opening a business is incredibly stressful and will take all your time and energy, especially during the first years.
A Big Wedding
Have you always dreamed about a massive wedding with all your friends and relatives? While this may truly work for some, other couples regret this choice. Small weddings have a high level of intimacy that cannot be achieved by inviting hundreds of people.
Not Accepting Help
Newly married couples often have difficulty accepting money from their relatives for their wedding day or friends’ requests to help with the kids. However, as time passes, they realize it takes a whole community to raise a child. Accepting help doesn’t make you a bad parent or partner. It simply is a way for your friends and relatives to show love, so allow them to do so.
A Holiday House
Holiday houses sound good in theory, but the reality is often very different. If you truly want to buy a holiday house, make sure it is in a place you’ve already visited hundreds of times and know you will return to regardless of what happens in your life.
Stopping Therapy
So many people decide to stop therapy when their love relationship seems to be on the right track. This is rarely a good idea. Just because you got married or fell in love with someone doesn’t mean you have the rest of your life figured out.
Open Marriage
Some people may think that an open relationship will solve all their problems. However, trying to find someone else instead of fixing the problems your marriage is facing will not lead to good results. Feel free to give non-monogamy a trial, but only if you feel 100% safe in your relationship with your spouse.
Being Financially Transparent
Not involving your partner in financial decisions heavily affects your relationship. It makes them feel secluded and unimportant. Keeping them in the dark only jeopardizes attaining your long-term financial goals. Transparency, however, enables you to save more, meet your financial goals, and, most importantly, connect with each other through sharing responsibilities.
Children Right Away
Many couples initially believe having children immediately will bring them closer and complete their family. However, they may later regret not spending more time together to strengthen their bond and enjoy financial stability. The immediate responsibilities and demands of parenting can strain the relationship and limit personal growth and experiences. Couples often realize the value of having a solid foundation before introducing children.
DIY Everything
Newly wedded couples often heavily rely on DIY projects to save money. However, these may be counterproductive. While this may work like a charm for small projects, for big ones, always talk with experts to avoid compromising your safety and having to pay someone later to fix your mistakes.
The Latest Technology
We are all tempted to buy the newest technology available on the market. From amazing smartphones to gigantic TVs, there always seems to be something extra we need to purchase. However, limiting your screen time will benefit your wallet and family.
Exhausting Family Vacations
There’s nothing wrong with a family vacation, but ensure you’re not scheduling too many activities. Are you planning to travel to five European countries in ten days? This is never a good choice with kids. Opt for relaxing holidays instead to recharge your batteries.
Renting For Life
While some people may be happy renting for the rest of their lives, buying a house surely has benefits. However, if you’re considering buying a home, you should do it as soon as possible unless you want to stop paying your mortgage while retiring. Whether or not you should buy a house depends on several factors, from your financial situation to your country’s housing market and more. So, make sure to discuss this with your partner.
More For You
Do you know what is one thing couples rarely regret? Making life-changing family resolutions to improve the vibes in their households. From limiting screen time to spending extra quality time together, check this article for inspiration.
This article was first published on the RB ITALIA Blog.
