16 Ways to Rebuild Your Happiness After a Breakup
A breakup isn’t just saying goodbye to someone – it’s also figuring out how to move forward without them. It can feel like your whole world has changed, and those memories might be hard to forget. The sadness and confusion can seem too much to handle at first. But no matter how hard it feels, healing is possible, and brighter days are ahead. Here are some simple ways to help you heal and start fresh after a tough breakup.
Note: The content of this article does not reflect the writer’s personal beliefs.
Give Yourself Time
Getting over a breakup doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s completely normal. Let yourself feel whatever comes up—sadness, anger, even relief—without trying to rush through it. Some days will be better than others, and that’s just part of the process. Be kind to yourself and know that, with time, things really do get easier.
Egocentrism
We agree that egocentrism is primarily a negative feeling we should not embrace. However, at times, such as right after a breakup, it may help you cope. When a relationship ends, we often blame ourselves, thinking that if we had put more effort into it, things might not have ended as they did. Instead of choosing this narrative, tell yourself that you deserve better. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take responsibility for the breakup or that your ex is a monster who needs to disappear from your life. However, temporarily boosting your egocentrism may help you improve your mood for the first days following a breakup.
Self-Care
Self-care is key. You may feel too discouraged to do anything productive on the days following a breakup, so be kind to yourself. Make a warm, bubbly bath with essential oils and soft music playing in the background to release all your negative feelings. Spend a night watching your favorite movie with a face mask and freshly made popcorn to snack on. Everything to give you that extra cuddle is welcome now.
Contact or No-Contact?
While plenty of people out there will shout at you for only considering contacting your ex, we have a different opinion. If you need closure, go for it, but some people maintain contacts better. Just because you broke up doesn’t mean you no longer care for each other or can no longer be friends. Following a breakup, our brains sometimes trick us into believing our partner never loved us. If you need reassurance that this was not the case or to hear that you will still be friends regardless of everything, don’t be afraid to call your ex, provided he’s also on board with maintaining contacts.
Focus on Yourself
The period after a breakup is the perfect time to focus on yourself. You finally don’t have to take your partner into account when organizing your life, so why not make the most of it? Was there a restaurant you loved but he detested? It’s time to go back! Is there a movie he always refused to watch? It’s time to watch it! Do all those things you never get to do while together to boost your mood and distract you from negative feelings.
See Your Friends
Your friends are your best support system, so don’t hesitate to call them and ask them to spend time together. This may be a great way to vent and discuss what happened with your ex. Most of the time, we need to talk with someone to get our thoughts out of our brains and stop thinking compulsively about what happened and why.
Practice Gratitude
It’s true; you just lost a person you loved dearly. But this doesn’t mean that your whole life sucks. You still have plenty of friends and a family to reach out to. Whether it’s a beloved pet waiting for you to return home or a great career you’re incredibly proud of, find something to be grateful for to focus your attention on the positivity in your life.
Grieve
Remember to allow yourself to grieve. Breakups are incredibly tough, and your future plans have probably drastically changed in the last few days. Grieving is natural and necessary. Allow yourself to cry and express your emotions in any way that feels good, whether it’s listening to a sad album or watching old pictures.
Be Happy For Your Partner
It may be difficult at first, but finding happiness in your partner’s new life is a fundamental step in the healing process. The first time you see him with a new partner will be incredibly tough. However, try to be happy for him rather than diving into jealousy. You can move on only when you find joy in your ex’s happiness.
Travel
Traveling can be a great way to let go of all the negative feelings in your life. Moving to a new country temporarily helps you break your routine, giving you so many stimuli that you will be too busy to think about your ex. However, remember that this is only a temporary fix, and you will still have to face your emotions when you return home.
Don’t Idealise Him
When grieving a relationship, we often tend to focus on everything that was going well—the flowers he used to buy for us, the morning breakfasts, that romantic dinner in our favorite restaurant… But what about all the negatives? What about the dirty socks carelessly left on your bedroom floor? What about all the arguments? Try to remember these, too, to remind yourself why you broke up.
Log Off From Social Media
Social media is your worst enemy when it comes to breaking up. You don’t want to start stalking your ex, checking whether he’s seeing new people or going out with his friends. Similarly, you don’t want to post pictures of provocative outfits to make him jealous. All these childish techniques will only prolong your suffering.
Find Your Identity
Breakups are so hard because we suddenly need to create an entirely new identity for ourselves. If, until yesterday, you only saw yourself as your partner’s girlfriend, it is time to create a new self. This fascinating process allows you to work on your personal goals and dreams without considering anyone else.
Journal
After a breakup, we often tend to idealize our ex-partner. If you recognize yourself in this habit, opt for a mental switch. Whenever you are tempted to think of how great you were together, idealize your new life as a single woman instead. Waking up in the morning and going to your favorite café, spending hours reading great books, hanging out with friends… Not too bad, right?
Idelise The Single Life
Journaling is a great way to achieve mental clarity when thousands of voices keep shouting in your brain. ‘What did I do wrong?’ ‘If only I..’ ‘I bet he already has another partner.’ Write down whatever is happening in your head, no matter how silly. Putting things down on paper will help you get perspective on the matter and reduce rumination.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness can help when experiencing intense pain. There are many different practices to try, from yoga to breathing techniques and body scans. Test a few and see whether they bring positivity into your life. Remember that you may need to practice mindfulness for a few weeks before noticing results.
More for You
Did that travel tip convince you? If yes, why not treat yourself to a romantic trip to the French Riviera? Who said that France should only be visited by couples? Explore art museums, try delicious wine, and eat crunchy croissants for the best self-care time.
This article was first published on the RB ITALIA Blog.
