12 Smart Ways to Respond When People Criticize You Unfairly

It’s never easy to take criticism. You wish you’d responded smartly, but it could be ages before you figure out a comeback. Responding to criticism isn’t only satisfactory for us, but it could potentially save others from being criticized and hurt, too. But you don’t always have to dish it back. Sometimes, responding maturely is the best route to take, so here are ways you can respond to criticism.

Stay Calm And Composed

More often than not, someone criticizing you is trying to rile you up. Giving them the satisfaction of being hurt or expressing your anger and frustration is only going to worsen your feelings. It’s best to stay calm and composed. The words of someone criticizing you might hurt you internally, but it’s best to pretend they didn’t and act like you don’t care.

Ask For Clarification

You’ll notice that nothing irritates an insincere person more than asking them to clarify something they thought would make you feel down. If they criticize your behavior or make a crass joke, ask them to explain it. This embarrasses people because it highlights how problematic their words are and displays their harmful and manipulative intentions in front of others.

Listen Attentively

While this might sound unusual, focus on what the other person is saying. If someone criticizes you, they’re actually revealing their own insecurities. For example, a person who criticizes your appearance is doing so because they secretly admire those things. Their criticism is just a way of masking their own envy.

Avoid Defensiveness

While it’s natural to stand up for yourself and act defensively, it’s often seen as you being guilty. For example, if someone criticizes your work ethic, being defensive will only make the criticism seem true. It also makes you look weak and gives joy to whoever criticizes you. Avoid acting defensively, and you’ll find the criticism doesn’t hurt that much.

Thank Them For Their Input

What better way to get under the skin of whoever criticizes you than thanking them? Since most insincere people aren’t expecting others to thank them for their criticism, doing just that will surprise them. It makes them feel silly and puts them down because they’ll spend ages wondering why their words aren’t getting to you. Besides, thanking them shows class.

Identify Their Motives

A person who’s criticizing you isn’t doing it for fun. They’re probably hiding some secret motive. Whether it’s trying to figure out why they’re making you a constant target or unraveling how your constant criticism benefits them, you must try to find out their motives. Identifying their motives makes it easier to apprehend the person constantly criticizing you.

Rephrase Their Criticism

Every criticism can be turned into a compliment or a comeback, depending on how well you phrase it. For example, ‘bony shoulders’ could mean your ‘beauty bones are visible’, an ‘overachievement attitude at work’ can mean you’re a ‘go-getter’, and if someone’s really interested in how awful your attitude has been lately, you can take it as them paying attention to you.

Focus On The Valid Points

While criticism certainly is challenging to accept and might not be coming from the best place, it doesn’t mean all criticism is bad. You can take criticism constructively, focus on the parts of a person’s criticism that ring true, and try to embrace them as flaws so you can work on them later. Someone’s constant criticism can be a catalyst for change.

Speak Assertively, Not Aggressively

While we understand that constantly being criticized is not a good experience, reacting aggressively isn’t the way to go. An aggressive reaction only paints you as the bad guy and confirms the criticism. It refutes any possible chance of defense that you might have. It’s better to articulate your points clearly and firmly but without a hint of aggression.

Avoid Personal Attacks

While a person who’s constantly attacking you with criticism doesn’t deserve kindness, it’s much better to avoid personal attacks. You’ll be sorely tempted, but we recommend avoiding personal attacks because you’ll just be stooping to their level. This will only affect your reputation. People will think you must be in the wrong since it was so easy for you to attack someone else personally.

Provide Evidence To Refute Claims

If you’re dealing with criticism that directly affects your reputation and character, providing evidence is the only way to prove your innocence. You must realize that without evidence, nobody would believe things otherwise, as hurtful as it may seem. Provide evidence, not only about your innocence but also of the negative interactions with the person who is criticizing you.

Set Boundaries

The best response to criticism is to set boundaries. You must not let someone else walk over you, or else it’ll only make you feel worse and weak. Setting boundaries clearly defines what actions you deem acceptable, so you have a valid reason to retaliate if someone crosses the line. It also makes things easier if you set boundaries on paper, especially if you’re setting them at your workplace.

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This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.