16 Tips For Healthy Communication With Your Ex

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Breaking up or separating can be challenging when people go their separate paths. But for ex-couples dealing with shared assets, children, or pets, communication is compulsory. Here are 16 tips to help you communicate effectively and respectfully with your ex. These strategies can help you both move forward in a positive way.

Accept the situation

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A big part of healthy communication is accepting history. You may not agree with your ex’s decisions or may hold out some grudges, but you won’t be able to move on with life or maintain good conversation unless you accept what happened.

Set boundaries

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Sit down with your ex and set healthy boundaries to ensure you both stay in your lanes. Discuss anything that might worry you in the future and outline problems and reactions. List unacceptable behaviors and topics so neither of you crosses a line.

Stay on topic

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Don’t forget why you’re communicating: to advocate for your child’s/pet’s rights. Don’t let anything stray you from communication; stick to mutual interests and avoid topics that may fuel hostility and affect you in the long run.

Navigate issues

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Figure out solutions to problems before they occur. Discuss custody and visitation rights, emergencies, and financial concerns, and sort out any discrepancies that might implicate your chances of a healthy co-parenting relationship.

Don’t badmouth

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Badmouthing each other will only foster distance and hostility. Don’t share your ex’s unappealing characteristics with your children; this will only hurt them. Ex-couples who refrain from such antics have a better chance at communication.

Be respectful

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Your ex’s life after separation should not affect your communication. Don’t belittle or demean your ex, even if you’re hurt. Don’t voice out your opinions on their private life, even if you condone it, unless it affects your children’s well-being.

Make plans

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Communication and custody won’t always go smoothly. Expect accidents and emergencies and figure out realistic plans to avoid fallout. Decide who will handle what sort of situations and what to do if they’re unavailable.

Don’t intrude

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Constantly interfering in your ex’s life will make them hesitant to contact you. Such intrusions can permanently affect communication, so stick to your lane and mind your business to avoid further problems. This is truly important especially if you have children together.

Modify and adapt

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You and your ex may have to change attitudes, behaviors, and plans according to the circumstances. Ensure your boundaries and plans are flexible enough to cater to each other’s needs, even if you’re no longer together.

Be transparent

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Don’t hold back from sharing concerns. Be open about your feelings and try to be concise. Don’t shy away from discussing sensitive topics related to your children. It may be uncomfortable, but it will help you set a precedent.

Cool down

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Don’t overreact or blow up when things go wrong. Build a healthy barrier to deflect problems without getting hurt. Take time to process events, and don’t react until you’re composed enough to deal with the situation.

Stay connected

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Don’t give up on communication just because it failed after the first few times. Healthy communication builds up slowly, so take your time and try to give your ex and yourself enough space to figure out the future.

Keep emotions in check

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Remember that they are your ex for a reason. Before communicating with them, take a moment to assess your emotions and whether you’re in the right state of mind to talk to them. This helps in avoiding communication that could lead to conflicts.

‘I’ instead of ‘you’

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What’s done is done. You cannot put the blame on them for every little thing. If you want the things to go smoothly, use ‘I’, such as I did this, I think this, instead of using ‘we’ or ‘you’. This will open up space for a constructive dialogue.

Right Communication Channel

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Depending on the topic of your discussion, choose an appropriate medium to communicate with them. Opt for a method that both parties are comfortable with, whether that’s emailing, texting, calling, or even seeing each other in person.

Include A Third Person

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If talking directly to your ex is tough, think about bringing in a third person to help out. A mediator can offer unbiased support and ensure both sides are heard fairly, making the conversations smoother and more balanced.

More For You

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Tips for bouncing back after a breakup. Follow our successful strategies to find your way forward in life after your relationship ends.

This article was first published at Rbitaliablog.

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