17 Signs That Can Help You Distinguish a Real Friend from a Fake One

We think friendship is like how it is in movies, but you don’t know if you’ve got a friend for life until life tests you. Real friends stick with each other no matter what and will pull through in emergencies. But, unfortunately, some friends are only there because it benefits them. If you’re unsure about a certain friend and want to know if they’re truly worth your time, watch for these signs. They’ll help you figure out who your real friends are and who you might need to let go of so you can keep the people who really care.

They Stay Connected

Real friends reach out first, not just when they need something. If you stop texting a particular friend and they’re not texting you back at all, your friendship doesn’t matter to them as much as it does to you. You’ll know a friend is a true one if they never fail to initiate contact and stay in touch.

There Is Mutual Respect

Many believe friendship is about taking someone as they are, but that’s not entirely true. Friendship involves accepting differences and preferences, as long as they’re not insulting, and respecting each other’s boundaries. If your friend constantly oversteps boundaries, even as a joke, they don’t respect you.

Equal Give And Take

Many friendships involve one person who goes above and beyond to facilitate others while the other accepts the help without giving back. In a true friendship, everything is balanced; you give and take equally, even if it happens days or weeks apart. A situation where one person consistently benefits at the behest of the other isn’t a friendship.

True Friends Understand Each Other

Friends are always ready to support each other, which means they understand each other’s quirks and habits. If your friend constantly ridicules you for a habit, quirk, or hobby, it means they don’t understand you and aren’t worth keeping as a friend.

They Don’t Judge Each Other

We learn many sensitive things about our friends, but it takes a lot of emotional support to support them without judging. True friends will accept you as you are without judgment; they won’t care if you’re poor or rich or recovering from a major heartbreak. A true friend will step up no matter who you are.

You Feel Comfort Around Them

Being comfortable and relaxed around a friend means they’re a good, genuine friend. A person who constantly tests your boundaries, taunts you, or spills your secrets is someone you won’t be comfortable with, even if it’s a friend from preschool. A true friend will make you feel warm and safe, even if you just met them.

They Don’t Hold Grudges

In a real friendship, you hash things out and move on. True friends don’t keep score or let resentment build up—they know friendship is more important than winning an argument. When it’s genuine, there’s no room for grudges, just understanding and getting back to good times.

Level Of Privacy

People think being friends means seeing and talking about every private thing in each other’s lives, but even the oldest and strongest friendships need privacy. If your friend refuses to respect your personal space and believes there’s no privacy, they’re not a good friend.

Having Fun Together

In a friendship of convenience, one person is constantly having fun while the other doesn’t. In most cases, the fun-having friend forces other friends to do the same activities they like without considering things their friends would like. But if you enjoy spending time with your friends and exploring each other’s interests, you’ll have a good friend.

Honest Communication

People who make friends for convenience don’t really care about communication. They hesitate to approach topics mainly if they are concerned with them. They also disregard any conversation or try to change the subject precisely when called out for their actions. In a genuine friendship, communication is open, frequent, and honest.

Constructive Criticism

A real friend gives you feedback that actually helps you grow, not just knocks you down and shatters your confidence. They think about how to say things in a way that guides you instead of hurting you. When they point out something you could improve, it feels like they’re genuinely willing to help you out.

They Forgive You

Genuine friends own their mistakes and apologize when they should. They don’t throw your mistakes back at you later or show stubbornness. Instead, they focus on making things better and keeping the friendship strong by apologizing quickly and accepting their mistakes.

They Accept Your Flaws

A true friend loves you just the way you are, with all your quirks and imperfections. They don’t judge or criticize you harshly but instead embrace you for who you are. Their acceptance is genuine and unconditional, showing that they value you as a person.

They Are By Your Side

You’ll know what kind of friend you have if you’re ever in a tough spot and facing criticism. A genuine friend will always defend you and stand by your side publicly, even if they reprimand you in privacy later. A friend who’s with you just for their benefit won’t care if you’re being attacked and will openly abandon you in public.

They Make Time for You

A real friend makes an effort to spend time with you, no matter how busy their life is. If they keep canceling plans or say they’re too busy but somehow have time for others, it might mean the friendship isn’t as real as you thought. True friendship doesn’t always require being there in person; even a quick call matters a lot. Those who don’t even bother to call don’t deserve your friendship.

They Are Not Jealous

Your true friends should be your biggest cheerleaders. If your friend never has anything positive to say when you achieve something or, even worse, tries to one-up you instead of congratulating you, it’s possible they see you as a competition rather than a real friend. Genuine friends don’t get jealous of your successes; they celebrate them with you.

A True Friend Includes You

You’re a keeper if you try to involve your friend in every event, be it a birthday, a concert, or grabbing a cup of coffee. But if your friend constantly plans behind your back or sneaks out with other friends without including you, they’re singling you out. A lousy friend won’t just stop there; they’ll exclude you from every single event, whether it’s something minor like a meetup or something significant like a wedding.